The Beginning of the End
“How are the preparations coming?” Thunderfunk paced the control room nervously.
Lights flashed a rainbow of colour across Straw Daq’s face as the clicking of various buttons being pushed flooded the room. His hands were a blur as has flipped switches and turned dials. Sweat ran down his face, falling to splash on the rubberized tile. “Things are going well,” he said tersely.
“Excellent.” Thunder wrung his hands. “Are the lasers in place?”
“Yes. And I calibrated them myself.”
“Good. What about the incendiary devices?”
“Placed at the best strategic locations.”
“Grenade launchers?”
“Loaded and armed.” Straw wiped his brow with a damp sock.
“Mortar rounds?”
“Prepped.”
“Missiles?”
“Coordinates loaded and warheads armed.”
“Squirrel gun?”
“Ready.”
“Clown?”
“Just putting on his make up. We had an issue with the wig, but we think it has been handled.”
“Good. We certainly do not want a repeat of Grenada.”
Straw shuddered at the memory.
“Vacuum?”
“Bag emptied, ready to go.”
“Screwdriver?”
“I’ve gone with a Robertson this time. Seemed apropos given the circumstances.”
“A fine choice.” Thunder sat down, closing his eyes for a moment before leaping to his feet. “Spaghetti?”
“Al dente.”
“Soap?”
“Nice and sudsy.”
“Turtles?”
“Shells are waxed and buffed. One wasn’t feeling in a bitey mood, but I reminded him that he was contractually obligated.”
“It was Louie, wasn’t it.” Thunder rubbed the spot at the bridge of his beak that always seemed to calm him down. “I never should have hired him.”
“Don’t worry, it will be okay.”
“Okay. Did you get the ping pong balls?”
Straw grimaced and breathed in through a clenched mouth. “The store was sold out. All they had left was hockey pucks, and not very many of those.”
“It will have to do.” The two looked at each other for a long moment. “It is time, isn’t it.”
Straw nodded.
“Very well.” Thunder tugged on his tuxedo jacket and straightened his bow tie. “Then make the call.”
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