Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 20

Montage-ular

All over the world, Thunderfunk the Superchicken and Straw Daq travelled, facing the heroes that were planning on banding together to stop them. In Russia they fought a woman with cold temperature related powers, defeating her by luring her into a sauna where she melted (only a little). They left her unconscious on the floor, the heat cranked up full. Straw made an excuse to run back for a moment, slapped a power neutraliser on her head and shut off the sauna. He then stitched up his own cuts he got from fighting her polar bear.

In Mozambique they fought a man able to control trees by tricking him into facing them in the desert where there were no trees. The plan worked out well once they got away from the cacti as well. Straw spent a few hours picking needles out of his tender areas, and bandaging up cuts obtained from the hero’s bird as it attacked him. Fortunately for them, instead of joining the hero in the desert, the bird had migrated instead, which was odd because eagles don’t usually migrate. Or live in Mozambique for that matter.

In Egypt they battled a reincarnated Pharaoh (aka, a mummy) out to make restitution for the evil he had committed when he was alive the first time, as well as his cat, which was less benevolent than his master, leaving Straw covered in claw marks. Fortunately for him, while Thunder was unravelling the mummy, the cat suddenly decided that it was time for a nap. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Straw ran away to patch himself up. He considered kicking the cat, but didn’t want to risk waking it.

In Sweden they encountered a woman who was able to spontaneously generate meatballs and fire them at her foes. She was followed everywhere by an electric eel that flew and did not need to live in water, thus making her animal much more dangerous than her. Thunder dispatched of the woman by punching her once in the jaw. Straw dispatched of the eel by letting it shock him until it ran out of power and then collapsing on it, knocking it unconscious. When he awoke, he spent some time applying salves onto his burns.

They continued on in this fashion as they fought nine more foes in every corner of the world until they finally ended in Pennsylvania, where they battled the final hero: a man made of chocolate and able to shoot deadly streams of chocolate from his hands. Straw, glad to not be fighting an animal sidekick for once, got hit with a wayward blast of chocolate and was promptly mauled by a group of dogs who wanted to lick the chocolate that their owners usually denied them.

Later, Thunder stood by Straw’s hospital bed. “Get well soon, Straw,” he said. “But rest easy now. I go to confront mine mortal enemy - First Lieutenant Awesomepants, and from this battle, only one will emerge.” Clucking evilly, he left the room to make preparations.

Straw raised his head weakly. “What?” he muttered before falling back asleep. It had been a rough couple of weeks.