And Yet I Have Nothing Against Clowns
“Are you sure about this plan?” Straw swivelled in his chair, muting the sound on the TV. The late news had just played the ransom video, and as usual, it was a masterpiece. There was a good chance it would be nominated for a villain’s choice award.
“Of course I’m sure,” snapped Thunder. “Why would you think otherwise?”
“It just seems a bit...weak,” replied Straw. He rose to his feet and stepped over the bus driver he had been using for a foot stool. “What’s the end game? Why are you doing all of this? Obviously you aren’t going to get paid any money for this one. Ransoms never work. All it does is make people angry and get heroes sent after you.”
“Ah, but you are missing the larger picture, lad. This plan is not about the monetary gain. It is about image and perception. The ease with which I disrupted their transportation and commerce, followed by the kidnapping of a political leader shows how easy it is for me to wreak any manner of havoc which I choose at any time I choose. People will live in fear because of me.”
Straw sat down, sipping at his cognac. “Okay, that’s fair. When you look at it that way, it makes more sense. Sometimes I forget how big picture you are. I just have one question.”
“And that is?”
“Wait, I lied, it’s actually two questions. First, what is that, and second, how did it get here?” He pointed just behind Thunderfunk’s head at something in the shadows of the cavernous room. Thunder reached out slowly and hit a switch which flooded that cave with light. Sitting on the railing of the TV area was a sock puppet. The same sock puppet that Cornelius J. Breadbuuter’s assistant Tom had been wearing the other day. Only now, there was no hand controlling it.
The puppet did not move, though the googly eyes were moving slightly as though it had recently been in motion. After a long time of not doing nothing, it continued to do nothing.
“Hey Thunder?” whispered Straw.
“Yes?” The giant chicken was whispering back.
“Are you hallucinating right now?”
“I don’t know. Can you see the sock puppet?”
“Yes.”
“Then no, I am not hallucinating.” A pause. “Are you?”
“I don’t usually hallucinate until I’ve had much more to drink.”
The puppet blinked. Actually, it didn’t blink, but it seemed like it should have. It was not natural to go that long without blinking. Thunder finally blinked for it, just to ease his mind. It did not help. “Options?” he inquired of his protege.
“Well, we could cower in fear. Or we could drink until it goes away.”
“Both good options. I vote we cower in fear for a while. I haven’t had a good cower in some time.”
“Agreed.”
Thunder and Straw cowered together as the puppet looked on, laughing menacingly.
Wait, no. The puppet didn’t do anything, but it seemed like it should be laughing menacingly.
Puppets are creepy.
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