Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 14

Lost in the Translation

Straw sat in front of the mobile work station that he had set up in the hotel. He was drumming his fingers nervously as he waited for the highly encrypted satellite to finish connecting with his computer. Thunder was still stewing furiously over the colours in the room. Finally, with a wave of his wing and an angry ‘bah!’ he rose to his feet and stood beside his lackey, just as the systems finished establishing contact. "What information do we have?" he asked, all traces of anger erased from his voice.

Relaxing only slightly, Straw pulled up the relevant files from the supercomputer back in the secret lair. "Okay, so it would appear that First Lieutenant Awesomepants he has targeted ten superheroes to gather together as a team. Once that team is gathered they will come after us."

"Only ten? That is nothing. We should not even bother trying to stop them gathering, I think."

Looking up at his boss, Straw shook his head. "I don’t know, Thunder. It looks like he’s got some pretty heavy hitters in mind."

"Oh?" Despite himself, Thunderfunk was interested. "Like who?" It really grated on him that there were things he did not already know, but that was why he kept one lacky alive - it made the whole information process much easier.

"Well, take this first guy for example - Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy. I’m told that it loses something in the translation from the Japanese. But his powers are pretty impressive. He has the ability to turn the battleground around him into a weird world of music, flashing lights, odd colours, and the occasional talking octopus."

"Talking octopus?"

"Yeah. Those who encounter him say that the rules of the land are very hard to operate in for everyone besides him. He knows how to use the disorientation field to his advantage while his foes (that would be us) are left puzzled and angered (that would be you)."

"Yes, but where does the octopus come in?"

Tapping a few more keys, Straw looked closely at the screen. "It would seem that it throws unpeeled bananas in your general direction and shouts at them."

Understanding lit Thunderfunk’s face. "Ah, it is a form of sorcery. He shouts spells that cause the fruit to rise up against his foe." Stroking his chin thoughtfully, he formulated a plan. "We will meet him at dawn, here," he pointed at a spot in downtown Tokyo. "It is there that he will be defeated." His maniacal laughter rolled around the room, scaring a maid cleaning the next room, causing her to knock a picture off of the wall. When the hotel manager found out, he fired her. Because of this her family became destitute, losing their house and being forced to live on the street. Their cat ran away shortly after this, darting into traffic, causing a taxi to swerve into a park car, totalling off both vehicles. The cabbie too was fired, forcing him to get a job in an industrial factory with less than ideal safety records. Within a month he was sick and stuck in a hospital. Ironically, it was the same cab driver that had driven Thunder and Straw around the city when they first arrived. Had he known this, Thunderfunk, the Superchicken, would have been pleased – greatly pleased indeed.

But as it was, he was merely startled by the sound of the breaking picture.