Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 17

Upside Down Exclamation Mark

Straw grimaced slightly, wiping his hand on his pants. Ever since he fought the octopus in Japan, he had been finding gooey ink on his body. He had only had time for an extremely rushed shower before he and Thunderfunk had checked out of their hotel and headed for their next destination: Spain. They were now sitting in a jeep, peering through the dust in the hot midday sun, looking for their next target.

His name was Ole! and he was a Spanish superhero. His garb was that of a stereotypical matador, showing, in Thunderfunk’s opinion, an appalling lack of imagination and style. His powers included the telepathic control of cows and bulls, super speed, and a mystical cape that hypnotised people into attacking it rather than the wielder.

Thunder clasped Straw’s shoulder and pointed, handing his binoculars to his protege. "I believe," he said, licking his beak, "that we have found our prey." He opened a flask and drained the water it contained within.

Straw stared at the man they had to face. The blazing sun bounced dazzlingly off of his clothes, slightly blinding Straw, leaving purple afterimages on his retinas. He was sitting on a rock, legs crossed, eyes closed, either meditating or sleeping. Turning the key in the jeep, Straw tossed the glasses on the seat beside him and shifted into gear, starting with a jerk. He hit the brakes and waited for Thunder to climb back into the vehicle. "Sorry," he muttered, making sure that the giant bird was holding tightly before he eased the vehicle forward.

They pulled up near the rock and exited the vehicle, walking to stand before the superhero, blocking the sun and leaving him in their shadows. For a long time no one spoke. Finally Thunderfunk cleared his throat.

"Away with you," said Ole!, his English thickly accented.

"Do you know how far we’ve come?" asked Thunder.

"Si."

"And do you know why we have come?"

"Si."

"Then you know we cannot leave."

"Si." Suddenly the Spaniard stood behind them, a slight unsettling of the dust the only evidence of his travel. "But you canno’ defeat me," he said confidently.

Thunder was less than impressed. "Your speed does not impress me, and your clothes frankly disgust me. Give us your best shot."

Smiling, Ole! clapped his hands twice, striking a flamboyant pose, his churrigueresque outfit flaring brilliantly in the sun.

Straw squeezed his eyes shut against the glare. A soft noise behind them caught his attention. Slowly he turned, cracking open his eyes, and groaning inwardly at what he saw. An extremely large bull with sharpened horns that for some reason glittered in the sunlight was less than two feet away. A grin seemed to play on its massive lips. The blackness of his hide seemed to absorb all light that came near it. With a heavy heart, Straw looked up at his boss. "I suppose," he said, shoulders slumped, "that you will handle Ole! while I take care of the bull?"

"Of course, my dear boy. You must protect my back at all times."

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Straw closed his eyes painfully. "Of course," he agreed. This just was not going to be his week. He could tell.

Fools of us All - Chapter 17

I did not wake up slowly or gently. A loud sound roused me from my enforced slumber, causing me to strain forward against restraints that I could not remember being placed on me. My eyes flew open for a brief second, slamming shut against the bright light that seemed to surround me. I took a moment to evaluate.

My jaw was aching, a dull pain that spread to the rest of my head. My arms and legs were strapped down tightly, too tight to even consider moving. The room was uncomfortably warm, which, when combined with the bright light, made me think that I was in some sort of interrogating room. Slowly I cracked open one eye, giving it time to get used to the light. It was impossible to see anything else, so I sat back and just listened instead. A humming sound was in the background, faint, almost like a mosquito flying around the room at night. The shuffle of at least two pairs of feet on the tile floor came to me, which, when combined with the fact that I was very firmly strapped onto a table, showed that they really did not want me to escape. That, however, was my first order of business. I just wish I knew how.

"I thought I saw her eyes move," came a voice. "What should we do?"

The humming sound grew louder. "I can't tell if she is awake or not. This equipment is a piece of..." The thought was left unfinished as the door opened. Two pairs of feet snapped together.

I cracked open one eye and watched as the General I had noticed before entered the room. He dismissed the two soldiers who had been guarding me. As the door closed behind them I noticed the General's aide, the one with the cold eyes, regarding me thoughtfully as he conferred with one of the M.E.R.C. soldiers. Just before the door swung completely shut I heard the soldier say something about 'the other one'.

Before I could process any of this information, the General spoke. "Well my dear," he said, sounding friendly, considering the circumstances. "So we meet at last."

I opened my eyes fully now, able to stand the light, and knowing that there was no point in feigning sleep any longer. But I didn't speak, instead letting him carry the conversation.

"I must say, your picture doesn't do you justice. I see that your time in the past has greatly improved your sense of fashion."

I looked down at myself, at the dress and shoes that I was still wearing, a disguise from a time not my own. The wig had long fallen off, but at least a couple of the rings were still on my finger. A shrug was about the only reaction I allowed.

The General smiled down at me benignly. "Oh come now dear, don't be so bashful. After all, we are all friends here."

There was something about the way his smile changed that did not sit well with me. What exactly did he mean by that? A moment later the door opened and I had the answer. A large man walked through the door, a man large enough that he almost filled the entire doorway. He turned and spoke to his guard. "Don't let anyone in," he intoned, but that booming voice was hard to hide. He turned back to me.

"Bastard."

He took the epithet silently, merely staring at me. Behind him his guard seemed to be waving his hands or doing something. Whatever it was the General didn't seem to appreciate it because he went and closed the door manually.

Silence stretched out before us, covering the past that had been between us. It was he who spoke first, but only because I could find no more words to say. "I did not imagine, Caz, that when I took you under my wing that it would be you who would end up in this position." Dun, the man who had mentored me, trained me, and in many ways, been a father to me, stood before me now, hale and hearty, looking much less dead than the last time I had seen him. "The prophecy was quicker in being fulfilled than I had imagined it would be." He exhaled heavily. "I thought there would be more time before the chosen one was revealed."

Words found me again. "I suppose," I said vehemently, "that you wanted to spare me, or that you didn't want anyone to get hurt."

He shrugged. "It would have been my preference, but I'm not all that concerned. Death does not bother me, not when it happens to those who stand in my way."

"You make me sick." It was impossible to tell if my tears were those of anger or of sorrow.

That comment seemed to sting him ever so slightly, putting him in a mood to pontificate. "I think you are failing to see the entire picture here, but that is my fault, I suppose. You see, the prophecy which was shared with you was not the entire story. The prophecy that you knew was that you are destined to find the one to save the world, that you were to stand with him at the end, victorious. That was only partly true."

Despite myself, I was interested. What more was there to the prophecy? I raised an eyebrow, signalling him to go on.

"Still feisty I see." A small chuckle escaped his lips. "That is good to see. It will make your death easier. Because die you will. The original prophecy does not end so triumphantly for you, I'm afraid. The warrior will lead humanity to salvation, says the omen, but his herald, the one sent to bring him to this new glory is destined to die. There is nothing you can do, your story has already been told."

"But I don't get it. If I am going to die anyway, why did you have to betray the entire organisation, and why are you so determined to kill me now? What do you gain if my story is already told?"

"Funny thing about prophecies - they are notoriously hard to predict, and even harder to recognise when they are happening. The organisation was concerned about this, and so I was sent to find out all the information that I could. What I found shook my faith and changed my point of view.

"All of my life I had been raised with this promise, and as I grew older and joined the organisation I was extremely enthusiastic. But then nothing seemed to happen. There were great promises from the leaders, and preparations to be made, but nothing ever seemed to change. The world got worse and worse and by the time I was sent on the fact-finding expedition, I was wracked with doubt. As we explored the ancient teachings I found some seeming inconsistencies, some questions that I couldn't reconcile with the prophecy as we knew it. So I dug deeper, keeping my findings to myself.

"The prophecy we knew wasn't the only one out there. Another oracle had spoken, foretelling of one who is to wield fantastic power, greater than that of any mortal man before. To get that power, all that person had to do was kill one other person. But not just any other person. No, the one who died was very specifically laid out. It was the herald of one who would come to save the world. It was you.

"Understandably, my faith was shaken. How could both of these prophecies be true? I never reported my findings to the organisation. Instead I waited and studied, seeing what I could find. In the end I came to the realisation that one prophecy was false, and one prophecy was true." Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out a gun and levelled it at me. "Your fate was sealed the minute you walked into that meeting, Caz. I am sorry that it had to be you, but I cannot stand in the way of destiny."

A pair of loud thumps sounded in the hallway outside the door. It took a moment, but Dun finally turned and looked at the General, who merely shrugged and motioned at the door. With a heavy sigh the large man turned and opened the door. One of the M.E.R.C.s was standing facing the door. On either side of him were two soldiers lying motionless on the ground. There was a moment of shocked silence as the soldier looked to either side of himself and that back at Dun, shrugging with theatrical nonchalance, as if to say he didn't know what was happening either.

Then he raised his gun and fired.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 16

It's Not Octopi, Apparently

Thunderfunk the Superchicken had faced many foes in his life. This was the first time he had been completely flummoxed though. Slowly he circled his opponent, Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy, and did his best to ignore the loud crashes, angry curses, and occasional banana that came from Straw Daq’s battle with the octopus.

Clearing his throat, he began to taunt his foe. "You think you are able to defeat me," he said in a higher pitched voice than normal, "but I am the greatest. You cannot defeat me."

"But I must defeat you," replied the Japanese hero rapidly. "You are evil and good must always triumph."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" said Thunderfunk. He ran at the behemoth before him, shouting "Ancestor’s Candlewick Snuff-out Punch!" as he leapt into the air.

"Kick of a Thousand Tiny Papercuts!" replied his foe as he too leapt into the air. For nearly a minute the two of them flew towards each other, screaming, their mouths round and huge. At the last second, Thunder shook his head. What am I doing? he asked himself. I can’t match his strength. Also, ‘ha-ha-ha-ha’? Did I really say that? Furiously he flapped his wings a few times, giving himself just enough lift that Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy passed underneath him. A giant question mark appeared above his head as he fell to the ground where he landed with a resounding crash. Thunder gently landed on an overturned car.

Before he could try and press his advantage, a black shape went soaring past him. A second later, the ink covered form of Straw Daq stalked by. "I hate cephalopods," he said darkly.

Despite feeling sympathetic, Thunder had his own battle to worry about. Hurrying forward, he found Super Happy rising shakily to his feet. With careful concentration, Thunder spoke. "This world you have created around you is fascinating," he said, fighting to keep his voice at its normal pitch and speed. "I must study it some day, when I have your brain in a jar."

"Huh?" said Super Happy. He turned and posed in a fighting stance.

"Oh no, good sir. I am not falling into a bout of fisticuffs." Straw found it easier to speak if he spoke like one who had lived a hundred years ago. "My strength lies not in the brawn of my arms...um...wings, but in the power of my brain." His foe shouted again and charged forward, but by concentrating, Thunder was able to avoid panicking and succumbing to the rules of this world. As the young Japanese man neared, he merely stepped aside, sticking out a foot to trip up the larger man. The resulting crash shook the buildings around them and plowed a furrow in the street. "I would thank you not to rumple my suit, dear fellow," called out Thunder. "It cost a pretty penny at the local haberdashery. A pretty penny indeed."

And thus the battle went. Slowly Thunderfunk was able to wear down his opponent until finally Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy laid in the street, defeated. The world around them was returned to normal once again. Tokyo citizens looked on in stunned silence as the Superchicken strode over to where their hero lay, cackling evilly. "A mighty fine show, lad, but it should be manifestly clear that you were no match for me." Placing a foot on the Japanese symbol, Thunder leaned forward. "I could kill you right now, and I probably should." He enjoyed the moment of terror that passed through the young man’s eyes. "However, my associate has convinced me that on this day it would be better to spare your life. But since I cannot have you roaming free to try and thwart me again..." Suddenly he pulled a small device out of his suit and slammed it into Super Happy’s head, causing it to bounce painfully against the broken pavement. As the young man lapsed into unconsciousness, Thunder chuckled malevolently. "A little something I whipped up. You shall awake with a headache and the inability to use your powers." Before his eyes, the device seemed to sink into the head, disappearing from sight completely. "And you will not even know why."

With that, Thunder strode away purposefully. He was joined by Straw moments later. Still covered in ink, the young man was also sporting a banana in each ear, and the remnants of many more were stuck to his body. "Not a word," he said emphatically. "Not a single word."

Fools of us All - Chapter 16

So this is the future, eh? I thought to myself as I ran. So far I am not impressed. I ducked through the doorway and skidded to a halt, turning just in time to see Caz obscured by a cloud of debris from the ceiling. Well, there was nothing I could do so I turned back and dove through the doors, praying at the last minute that they weren't locked shut.

They banged open and I went tumbling across the floor, ending up against a door. Shaking my head to clear it I looked up and down the hallway, noting with satisfaction that the doors had swung shut behind me, muting the sounds coming from the large room on the other side. The door that I was leaning against was the first door on the right, so I rose to my feet and hurried down the hall to the third door on the left. The doorknob was cold as I started to turn it slowly, trying to be somewhat covert on the off chance that there was someone within. Perhaps I could surprise them.

Thanks to the fact that I wasn't making much noise on my own I became aware of some loud voices coming from a room down the hall. I was going to ignore them until I heard someone say the name "Caz" quite loudly. Intrigued, I headed in that direction, crouching to avoid being seen through the frosted windows. There were two voices coming from the room, quite audibly to my surprise.

"What is going on?" came the first voice, a deeply soothing voice, though there was a discordant edge to it at the moment. A silhouette passed across the window, arms waving in the air.

It was a moment before there was a reply, long enough that I was starting to wonder if maybe he was talking me somehow. But then a second voice spoke up, this one sounding quite agitated and angry as he said what he knew.

"Interesting," came the first voice again after listening to the explanation of the past few minutes. "It would appear that when Caz returned she brought two friends with her."

"So there are three people running around here now?"

A slight chuckle. "You misunderstood me. She brought back one person, a young man..."

"The prophesied one!" I couldn't miss the sarcastic sneer in his voice at that.

"Ah, yes," came the slightly derisive reply. "Him. But along with them came a missile of some sort, possibly from the portable rocket launchers you sent back with the M.E.R.C. squad?"

A groan. "I knew sending those goon squads back would end be trouble."
"Yes, quite right. However, I must say that if it was engineered on purpose by the lass or the lad, then perhaps we should reassess matters somewhat." There was a pause. "Or perhaps not. It would appear that Caz is now under our control. The boy is not from this time and will be easy corral in the near future. The machine is still operational and the organisation is on the run. You have done well for us. Now all that is left is to get any information from the girl that we can and then dispose of her." There was a weighty pause. "That, I shall leave up to you."

Chills ran down my spine and settled in my gut at that. Just then a hand came down on my shoulder. Without thinking I grabbed it and flipped the person over my shoulder, using one of the throws taught to me by my martial arts instructor. The man landed heavily on the ground, sending his helmet flying, and I quickly lashed out with a pair of punches to the face, knocking him to unconsciousness. I dragged him around the corner, trying to figure out what to do. I had to save Caz somehow and I had no idea how to do it. Unless...

A few moments later I pulled the helmet over my head, flipping the face guard down to completely obscure my features. I had no idea if this would work, but I had no other options open to me. It seemed to work in the movies, even when it was most unlikely. Such as now. The door opened and out walked a large man, likely the owner of one of the voices from the room. I snapped to attention, holding my breath. My best bet was the fact that the M.E.R.C.s seemed to be mercenaries, hired for a job and not really a part of whatever group I was now facing. With any luck that would mean that this man didn't know any of the troops personally.

"Come with me," he said, confirming that he had been one of the people talking in the room, "I need an escort to the prisoner room." He started walking away briskly and I followed, breathing a silent sigh of relief.

As I passed the door I snuck a look from the corner of my eye. It was empty save for a screen against one wall and a gumball machine in the corner, which seemed odd. The other voice must have been from somewhere else in the building.

As we reached the doors to the main warehouse area the man paused and turned to me. "Make sure your weapon is fully armed and ready to go. We have a prisoner to dispose of." He turned and exited the hallway, not pausing long enough to see me shudder. This was not going well at all.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 15

It Has Begun!

The sun was just breaking over the horizon, but in the urban jungle that was Tokyo the streets were still covered in the shadows of the buildings. Moments earlier an explosion had rocked the area flipping cars into the air, sending them crashing down in the morning gloom. Smoke settled across the road, giving the scene the feeling of a London fog. Thunderfunk the Superchicken stood at the end of the street, laughing evilly at the chaos around him. A young man in an old style pilot’s helmet and goggles leaned casually against a light post, munching on a fruity oaty bar. Civilians scattered like pins at a bowling alley.

And then, out of the smoke stepped a figure. No, more than a figure – a legend. He wore a spandex suit so tight it was almost painted onto his massive, rippling muscles. Baby blue go-go boots came up nearly to his knees and matched the soft blue of his eyes perfectly. His orange spandex contrasted nicely with the boots, and the single Japanese character in black shadow with a white outline somehow managed to tie the entire ensemble together. His massive arms looked particularly well defined and a sheen of sweat made his skin glisten. A cape was attached at the neck and it flapped enthusiastically in a breeze that moments ago had not been there.

Thunderfunk glared down the street and laughed. "Do you think you can frighten me?" he mocked.

A single beam of light chose that moment to bounce off of a window into another window, and from there it landed on Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy, suffusing him with a soft, angelic glow.

Thunder swallowed hard. That was an impressive trick.

And then there was no more time for thoughts as the battle was joined. Yelling unintelligibly in Japanese, SHGGBJ darted forward. Suddenly the world around Thunder changed. The buildings disappeared, replaced by a dark red background all around him. SHGGBJ was running towards him, still yelling, but somehow he failed to come any closer. The world around him was a bright green colour and was somehow blurred as though seen at great speed. The Japanese hero leapt impossibly high in the air, and suddenly Thunder could understand what he was saying: "Leave Boot Impression In Enemies Face Sudoku Attack!" His background was now yellow.

Disoriented, Thunder could feel himself break out in sweat. A giant drop of sweat appeared at the side of his head, and he opened his mouth impossibly wide. "Oh no!" he shouted as the hero’s go-go boot came hurtling towards his head. At the last minute he threw himself backwards, and the boot only caught a glancing blow. Thunder flew back slowly, the red background changing to a streaky white background. Finally he came crashing to the ground.

He rose to his feet, a little confused about what just happened. "Did you just..." he began before being pelted with a banana. "Uh," he began again, only to be hit with another banana. Pivoting on his heel he glared at the octopus that was clinging to the light post next to Daq, another peeled banana in one of his tentacles. "Cut that out!" snapped the chicken. He turned to face his foe again, only to be hit with a dozen more bananas. A string of Japanese words floated by, each one flicking him right on the beak. Blinking hard, Thunder glanced back at the light post. "Deal with it," he growled at Straw. Striding forward a step, he ducked, avoiding another hurled banana.

"Deal with it?" groused Straw under his breath. "Like that is so easy." Rolling up his sleeves, he briefly considered wondering about where the silk aviator’s scarf that was wrapped around his neck had come from, but wisely decided that it was not worth the effort. Reaching up he grabbed the octopus around the area where its neck theoretically would be. "Let’s talk," he said, pulling it down and staring into its eyes. The battle was now fully begun. Beginned? No, begun.

Fools of us All - Chapter 15

It has always amazed me at how some pain is familiar. Something happens at one point in your life, and then it happens again, maybe not for days, weeks, even years, and yet as soon as it happens your body tells you that this is familiar, this is known, you have felt this before and survived. There is almost a comfort to it. Maybe it is a natural coping mechanism, something that your body does to help get through pain, to make survival that little bit easier. I don't know.

All of that being said, it still hurt. I gasped loudly as we rematerialized, the pain of our passage through time echoing on every nerve in my body. I barely had time to see Spin's wide eyes before a massive explosion occurred behind us, throwing me from my knees to flat on my stomach, heat washing over me, singing the tips of my hair. I knew that surprise and chaos could only work for us for a short time so I wordlessly pushed myself to my feet and grabbed Spin's arm, trying to get him to rise as well. It took a moment but he finally shook off the shock of time passage and rose unsteadily to his feet.

I glanced around to get my bearings. We were back in the warehouse and to my relief no one had repaired the massive hole in the side. Probably they had just thrown up a holo-imager to make the building look secure until they could get a refab team in to make the building whole once again.

I grabbed Spin's hand and yanked him forward, heading straight for the opening. We had only run a few steps when he suddenly pulled on my arm, dragging us to a stop. I looked back and he wordlessly pointed to the edges of the hole. I swore and ducked behind a container. In my eagerness to escape I had failed to notice the a group of uniformed men standing on either side, weapons drawn. Damn, why did they have to actually be well trained for once.

My mind raced. How were we going to escape now? I didn't know the building very well, having spent most of my previous stay here in a small room being poked and prodded by doctors. But I had explored that room quite extensively. A plan began to form in my mind.

We had been back in the warehouse for no more than ten seconds at this point. Due to the explosion there was mass confusion. A quick look around showed me a few things. At various exit points around the building were some highly disciplined M.E.R.C. troops who had remained on station despite everything. The time machine was still sitting where it had been, thankfully intact as near as I could tell. The door to Amanda Brun's command room high above the floor was flung open and a man in a general's uniform was stepping out, looking wild-eyed. Someone of lower rank but obviously steadier nerves stepped out beside him and pulled the general back into the room. The aide paused for a moment to survey the situation. His eyes met mine briefly and even across the expanse between us I could see the hint of a cold smile cross his lips. I knew we had to move now.

I leaned in close to Spin. "I need to create another diversion," I said hurriedly. "When I give the word you rush towards that door there." I pointed at an unguarded door. "It leads to the medical facilities. Go into the third room on the left, I'll join you as soon as I can."

He looked at the open floor between him and the door and sighed. "Be careful," was all he said.

At least he was willing to go along without knowing the plan. That was helpful. "Okay, go!" At the same time I dove out to a roll and came up running, hoping that everyone would still be too concerned with the fire that had resulted from the explosion to notice one more person rushing around. The fire alone may have been enough of a distraction, but I needed something to really hold their attention.

No more than thirty seconds from the time I returned to my present I was at the time machine controls. They didn't make much sense to me, but I could recognise a power button when I saw one. I hit the button and nothing happened. Cursing under my breath I thought to when I had been transported back in time - what had the technician done? Before he hit the button he had twisted a few knobs or thrown some switches. I looked at the controls again but nothing seemed obvious. So I did the only thing I could think of and started throwing switches and twisting dials at random. Once again I hit the button and this time was rewarded with a loud crackling of energy. The machine itself, high up on the platform, leapt to life loudly, making a satisfying amount of noise. Without looking back I jumped away from the controls and started running to the hallway where I had sent Spin.

What I had not counted on was a beam of energy lancing out and striking the ceiling. Debris rained down in front of me as part of the roof caved in. A cloud of dust spread out, obscuring my vision, but also obscuring everyone else's. Unfortunately, my path was also obstructed. I turned and ran back the way I had come, racing by the machine once again. There was another set of rooms on this side of the building. Hopefully everything would be organised the same way.

I burst through the doorway into an empty hall. It was short with a left hand turn at the end. As I reached the turn there was another explosion in the main warehouse area. The force of the explosion was enough to cause me to stumble forward around the corner. Before I could recover my equilibrium something solidly connected with my jaw. I fell back, slapping my head against the wall. As I faded into darkness, my last thought was for Spin.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 14

Lost in the Translation

Straw sat in front of the mobile work station that he had set up in the hotel. He was drumming his fingers nervously as he waited for the highly encrypted satellite to finish connecting with his computer. Thunder was still stewing furiously over the colours in the room. Finally, with a wave of his wing and an angry ‘bah!’ he rose to his feet and stood beside his lackey, just as the systems finished establishing contact. "What information do we have?" he asked, all traces of anger erased from his voice.

Relaxing only slightly, Straw pulled up the relevant files from the supercomputer back in the secret lair. "Okay, so it would appear that First Lieutenant Awesomepants he has targeted ten superheroes to gather together as a team. Once that team is gathered they will come after us."

"Only ten? That is nothing. We should not even bother trying to stop them gathering, I think."

Looking up at his boss, Straw shook his head. "I don’t know, Thunder. It looks like he’s got some pretty heavy hitters in mind."

"Oh?" Despite himself, Thunderfunk was interested. "Like who?" It really grated on him that there were things he did not already know, but that was why he kept one lacky alive - it made the whole information process much easier.

"Well, take this first guy for example - Super Happy Go-Go Boots Joy. I’m told that it loses something in the translation from the Japanese. But his powers are pretty impressive. He has the ability to turn the battleground around him into a weird world of music, flashing lights, odd colours, and the occasional talking octopus."

"Talking octopus?"

"Yeah. Those who encounter him say that the rules of the land are very hard to operate in for everyone besides him. He knows how to use the disorientation field to his advantage while his foes (that would be us) are left puzzled and angered (that would be you)."

"Yes, but where does the octopus come in?"

Tapping a few more keys, Straw looked closely at the screen. "It would seem that it throws unpeeled bananas in your general direction and shouts at them."

Understanding lit Thunderfunk’s face. "Ah, it is a form of sorcery. He shouts spells that cause the fruit to rise up against his foe." Stroking his chin thoughtfully, he formulated a plan. "We will meet him at dawn, here," he pointed at a spot in downtown Tokyo. "It is there that he will be defeated." His maniacal laughter rolled around the room, scaring a maid cleaning the next room, causing her to knock a picture off of the wall. When the hotel manager found out, he fired her. Because of this her family became destitute, losing their house and being forced to live on the street. Their cat ran away shortly after this, darting into traffic, causing a taxi to swerve into a park car, totalling off both vehicles. The cabbie too was fired, forcing him to get a job in an industrial factory with less than ideal safety records. Within a month he was sick and stuck in a hospital. Ironically, it was the same cab driver that had driven Thunder and Straw around the city when they first arrived. Had he known this, Thunderfunk, the Superchicken, would have been pleased – greatly pleased indeed.

But as it was, he was merely startled by the sound of the breaking picture.

Fools of us All - Chapter 14

I knew I should be scared. I could tell by how Caz was reacting. Her breathing had become shallow and her eyes were darting nervously back and forth. "What are mercs?" I asked, whispering to match her tone. I glanced around the corner carefully, watching as the two men standing by the desk questioned the admitting nurse.

The question seemed to startle Caz, forcing her to focus in order to answer. "M.E.R.C.s," she said, taking a deep breath, "are the counter-revolutionary force organised to, well, counter any revolution that may rise up. It stands for the Marshal Elimination of Revolution Corps. When things really started to hit the fan there was rioting in the streets. The M.E.R.C.s were formed to put down those riots, and they just stuck around to keep anything from happening again. They are absolutely brutal. There is no judge or jury with them - only the executioner. The last time I saw them they were shooting the hell out of the people working the time machine."

I nodded, the gravity of the situation becoming clear. "I'm just going to guess that they are rather high-tech, even in your time."

She looked at me with fear in her eyes. "In my time, a squad of twenty could make a dent against a normal army of hundreds, even thousands. The only advantage we had was that they were unable to find us. That changed the day I came back." I could hear a note of panic start to creep into her voice. "If they are here then all is lost."

My mind worked furiously. A quick peek around the corner and then I ducked back. We had some advantage. First, they didn't know where we were. It was quite possible, maybe even likely, that they didn't know what I looked like. Caz sure hadn't, so maybe these guys were equally clueless. Also, for all of their high tech gadgetry, they didn't know the area or the time. I, on the other hand, had grown up around Moose Jaw and I knew the terrain quite well. Plus this was my time, so I would be able to blend in, making discovery at least slightly harder. It wasn't much, but it was something. Plus, at least we knew the time machine was still working. Gently I grabbed Caz by the arms and looked her square in the eye. "Listen, we still have a shot. If we want to get out of this then we have to stay calm. Based on what you know, how many of them do you think there are?"

I could see that she was drawing strength from me, which terrified me because I didn't really have a clue what I was doing. But that didn't matter right now. We didn't have much time (that seemed ironic to me every time I thought about it) so I just had to keep acting like I knew what was going on."

I wasn't big on the intelligence side of the organisation, but I do know that the time machine takes great power and that the M.E.R.C.s are a very confident bunch." She thought for a moment. "I can't see there being more than three of them here, and it may be that the two we saw are the only ones here. They will rely on their advanced technology to try and flush us out, figuring that we will be easy to defeat."

"No, not we. You. I don't think they would know I am with you. All of the information that they can have is that you were in the hospital and you escaped."

"But they came from my time. Surely they could just look back in their archives and know it all."

I pondered this for a moment and then shook my head. "I don't think so. We aren't at a point in society where our every movement is monitored, and no one knows that I am worth watching yet. That means no records of any kind, and definitely nothing to tie me to you." Quietly we crept back down the hall, away from the main lobby. We would have to find another way to leave the hospital. Surely this place had a back door.

Sometimes I wonder at how much difference a second could make. If we had waited just a moment longer before going around that particular corner would things have worked out differently? I may never know. I do know I should have been more aware of my surroundings instead of lost in thought. The glimmerings of a plan were starting to form in my mind, but all such thoughts were thrown out of my mind when I heard a triumphant shout from the other end of the hall.

"Aha, I knew I'd find you punks. You aren't getting away from me this time!" A shot echoed in the hallway and I could feel the passage of the bullet zip by my face, his haste causing him to miss with his first shot. Without a thought I threw myself back around the corner and started running, hearing the slap of Caz's feet on the floor as she joined me. This was a bad situation. There wasn't anywhere to go but out into the lobby - straight into the teeth of the devil.

With a sigh I barrelled around the corner. "Run, girl," I shouted, not wanting to use her name around the M.E.R.C.s, who looked up with startled expressions on their faces. As she had guessed there were three of them. Two were standing at the desk, looming over the admitting nurse, trying to get info out of her. The third was against the wall, obviously watching to make sure they weren't taken by surprise. Perhaps he should have been looking harder.

On instinct I grabbed that one by the arms and shouted at him "You've got to help us, there's a crazy guy talking about time travel chasing us!" and then hurried on my way without daring to look back, following behind Caz who had passed me when I stopped.

Against all odds all three men snapped around, pulling out futuristic looking weapons, but not so futuristic that their deadly purpose was unrecognisable. I heard a surprised yelp behind me, followed by the sound of three weapons firing simultaneously. The sound faded behind me as I pushed through the automatic doors at the front, nearly bowling over Caz who was standing with her hands up.

Another M.E.R.C was standing about five feet away, his weapon held with a casual deadliness that a small part of my brain admired. He was raising one wrist to his mouth, likely to call his friends to join the party. "Wait," I said desperately, working on instinct. "You don't want to do that."

He cocked his head to the side. I wished I could see his face, but he was wearing some sort of helmet. The outside of the helmet was smooth and featureless, save for darkened slit where the eyes were no doubt watching me closely. His uniform was an odd mixture of extremely futuristic arcane. He was wearing boots that went halfway up his calves, and heavy leather pants were tucked into them. A separate chest plate, also of leather, covered his torso. He was wearing a shirt underneath the chest plate that ended in a turtleneck-like top which completely covered his neck. For some reason his arms were completely bare down to below his elbows where a pair of gauntlets started, covering his hands. Some gadgets were on the gloves, I could tell, though what they did I could not say. A belt with various pouches was around the waist. There were enough small lights that I could tell there was serious power behind the old-style look. The eeriest part was that it was all black, the deepest black I had ever seen.

His wrist stopped and slowly lowered. "All right, I'll bite." Even through the electronic filtering that his voice was going through I could tell that he was amused. "Why do I not want to contact the others?"

Surreptitiously I slipped the globe out of Caz's pocket. "Because of this!" In a smooth motion I flicked the globe just to his left, distracting him for only a moment, but a moment was long enough. His head moved that direction and at the same time Caz and I launched at him, covering the few feet before he could react. I hit him high and she hit him low. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I ripped off his helmet and punched him a couple of times, enough to knock him out. Quickly retrieving the globe we started running.

"Hey, stop!" I glanced behind me to see that the first three guys had come out. Putting on a burst of speed we headed around the corner of the building. I didn't know what to do now besides run. Suddenly another M.E.R.C. appeared in front of us, his weapon raised. We dived to the side, rolling through some bushes and coming out in the parking lot. The crackle of some high energy weapons was followed by a small explosion of dirt in the bushes, which quickly caught fire. Another shot rang out, hitting a car to our left."

I don't think they care if we come back alive," I gasped. Grabbing her arm I pulled her between a large truck and a white Firefly. I had noticed another M.E.R.C. at the other end of the parking lot. "I think they brought more than three guys."

She nodded, obviously having noticed the same thing. We were trapped.

I peeked around the bumper of the Firefly and noticed three M.E.R.C.s standing at the end of the row. They were putting together what looked like a large gun. A long tube was put together by threading one shorter tube onto another. It was mounted on a tripod. A blast shield was placed in front of the gunner's seat. Two metal pipes were inserted horizontally from the tube, just in front of the blast shield. Each tube ended in a padded square about two feet wide and four feet high. Two of the men seemed to hide behind these squares. A small slot on the blast shield opened. "Come out and you probably won't get hurt," came a voice. "If you don't come out, we'll blast you out...like this!" With that the gun swung around, aiming near our position, but not close enough to hit. The sound of a battery powering up could be heard. A sudden flash of light shot out of the tube, blinding me so I couldn't see what happened next. When my vision cleared, I could see that the loud crashing sounds I had heard had been a new Ford diesel truck being utterly destroyed. It was split in two, and those two pieces had flown through the air, landing on vehicles at opposite ends of the parking lot. "Whoops, forgot that it was on low mode. Next shot gets set onhigh."
I looked at Caz with despair. I couldn't see how we could get out of this. Except....

"I'd be more scared if you didn't look like you dressed in the dark. Is that what clowns look like in the future?" A few shots from the hand guns rang out, followed by another explosion from the gun. I glanced out and saw it had moved back a couple of feet. I understood what the squares were for - the gun had to be braced by the other two men.

"What are you doing?" Caz was still whispering, but she was doing it forcefully. I whispered in her ear for a moment and then looked at her in silence. She sighed. "This is the worst plan ever."

I shrugged. "It's also the only chance we have."

"But what if it doesn't work."

"Then we probably die. But if we don't try, then we definitely die." We stared at each other for a moment, and then she rolled her eyes."

I suppose we can't just keep throwing this stupid globe around." A small smile played around the edges of her lips, and her eyes danced with resigned glee. God she was pretty.

I banished the thought from my mind and took a deep breath. "Look," I shouted at the men in black. "I have plans tonight with your mom, so why don't we cut the chatter so I can make sure I'm not late. I'm going to go ahead and accept your surrender now."

An angry laugh answered my taunting. "I don't think you are in any position to be talking so tough, boy."

"Ooh, good comeback. You even used words with more than one syllable. I'd be more impressed but I find it hard to be scared pansies who are so insecure about their manhood that they need a large gun to compensate. I bet the women are all over you and your 'big gun', or do you have to give that back when you go off duty?"

Another pair of cars disintegrated in reply. I looked at Caz who merely raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.

"Look," I said, taking a deep breath. "We'll come out if you promise not to shoot."

Silence.

"I may even apologize about the gun remark."Finally an answer. "Come out slowly, hands where we can see them. I promise no harm will come to you.

"Raising our hands above our heads we slowly rose to our feet and stepped into the open. I glanced at Caz and nodded before looking at the barrel of the large gun facing me. A helmeted head peered around the blast shield. "Oh, silly me," came the voice. "I lied." The sound of the battery charging up came through the clear morning air loud and clear. My heart leapt in my throat.

Beside me I could feel Caz tense up. As the battery reached full charge, she yelled out "Now!

"Three things happened all at once: Caz and I dropped to our knees, our arms covering our heads; we each slapped the button on the recall device that we had each placed on our wrist; and the man behind the gun loosed the round that was meant to wipe us from the face of the earth. It sped towards us faster than I thought possible. Pain like I had never felt before enveloped me, drawing me into a weird sort of darkness, and then I knew no more.