Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 44

Ice Cream is a Dish Best Served Cold. Or Deep Fried.

“Gonna kill Breadbuuter, gonna kill Breadbuuter, gonna kill Breadbuuter.” Thunderfunk chanted this mantra as he stalked through the hallways in his home. In all of their past dealings, he and Breadbuuter had never interfered with each other’s plans directly. Sure there had been anonymous tips and quiet hints to the right people at the right time, but this was different. This was so...so...personal!

He was at a level of rage that he had never felt before. His jaw was clenched so hard it made his beak hurt. His eyes were narrow slits and he was molting with rage. He was also completely lost. He had been searching for the front door for the past half hour and it was nowhere to be found. “Has someone moved it?” he growled at no one in particular.

Turning a corner, he ran into Straw, knocking both of them to the ground in a heap. Clucking loudly, Thunderfunk flailed his arms, connecting with Straw’s jaw at least once. “Get off of me!” he said loudly. Once they had untangled themselves, Thunder rose to his feet. “I have to go kill Breadbuuter,” he said, turning away.

“Hold on a minute,” said Straw, his voice muffled by the swelling in his face.

“What!” snapped Thunder.

“Maybe you should calm down for a bit. You need to plan something, not just go over there half-cocked...”

“What is that? Is that a chicken joke? Are you mocking me?” Thunder balled his hands into fists, prepared to fight.

“No, I’m not mocking you,” said a visibly exasperated Straw. “The fact that you want to fight like a common pugilist tells me that you are in no condition to confront a girl scout, let alone your arch nemesis.”

“Well, to be fair, girl scouts can be pretty tough,” replied Thunder, but his anger was dissipating somewhat. At least, the white hot rage had dissipated. It’s spot was filled with a cold rage, a slow burn, a...you get the picture. “You, of course, are correct, my young sir,” he said calmly. “The time has come to crush Breadbuuter, and it must be done right. Now come - we have preparations to make.” Confidently, he strode to the front door and flung it open, stepping as far onto the front step as he could without stepping on Mrs. Henderson, whom he had not been expecting to see.

Straw had a hard time deciding what was funnier: Thunder’s girly scream of terror or the fact that he peed his pants a little.

Fools of us All - Chapter 44

SPIN

I was paralysed with fear and doubt. The past week had been difficult and I was tired and couldn’t concentrate anymore. I had not had a good night’s sleep since that night. I was still at a loss to explain what had happened. I could only vaguely remember fighting my way through a crowd and then carrying Caz into the tunnels, where we had been hiding ever since.

Her injuries were pretty bad. To be honest, I was not even sure how she was still alive. There had been so much blood that I thought she had died before I could set her down. I was still dazed from the fight, but I think I remember my hands feeling extremely warm.

I fell asleep for some time and when I woke up, Caz was still alive. She muttered to herself in her sleep, and once she had sat up and screamed so loudly that I was sure we would be caught. When she had quieted down, I had picked her up again and carried her to a new location.

That was the first time that I had really noticed that my arm was healed. There was no pain, no bruising, no scarring, no anything that would indicate that it had been broken so badly that I looked like I had an extra elbow. I had no explanation for what had happened.

Everything was overwhelming if I thought about it. I was lost in time, unable to get back home, unsure of what to do here in whatever now I found myself. The only solace had been found in reading the book I had stolen from the archives.

But even that solace was tinged with terror.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 43

Justified Anger

Thunderfunk stalked through the tunnel, fuming. “How could Breadbuuter do this to me!” he groused.

Straw walked with him. “He is your mortal enemy. It makes sense that he would be trying to stop your plans.” He was finding it hard to keep up with his boss.

“That’s no excuse. We have an understanding.”

“And you are both cheats,” Straw reasoned.

“That’s beside the point. This was not even a grand scheme. He had no right to interfere.” He reached the secret door that led back into his proper house, slamming it open in anger.

Straw glanced at the wall behind the door and made a mental note to call a contractor to repair the wall. He looked back up to see his boss turning the corner. “Wait up!” he called out.

“I have no time. I am going to confront him and, and, and punch him straight in the nose.”

Straw rushed ahead and stood in front of the angry giant chicken. “I don’t think that is a good idea. You need a bit to cool down. You can’t scheme when you are this angry.” A moment later Straw sat up, rubbing the spot on his head that had smashed into the wall. He made another mental note to get that spot in the wall repaired as well. He also hoped he was able to remember his mental notes.

Fools of us All - Chapter 43

CAZ

Drip
Drip
Drip

I could hear dripping nearby. Water splashed close to my head with a regular rhythm. For a long time, nothing else existed in my world - just darkness and the sound of water hitting the ground.

Drip
Drip
Drip

Slowly, other sensations began to thrust themselves upon me, but I fought them back. The water had hypnotized me, promising to ease my pain. I felt nothing. There was only the falling water.

Drip
Drip
Drip

A stab of pain distracted me for a moment. I could feel that my leg was moving, but I had no actual sensation from the lower limb beyond a thin line of pain. My knee twitched violently, jarring loose a memory of crushing injury. The artificiality of my own leg imposed itself upon my senses. Someone in the darkness moaned loudly.

Drip
Drip
Drip

I tried to regain the comfort of the regular sound, but more intrusions were making their presences known on my consciousness. A white hot pain burned my shoulder. A muffled sob echoed off of the walls. My leg twitched hard enough to bang awkwardly off of the cold floor. I flexed my arms, gasping at the soreness I found.

Drip
Drip
Drip

It was the overwhelming sorrow that finally roused me. I could not remember why, but it felt like my entire life was meaningless. It was only then that I realised the moaning and crying I had been hearing was my own. My eyes flew open and I screamed, a sound of pure animalistic rage. The sound echoed off of the round walls of the dimly perceived tunnels, continuing around itself without end. Tears streamed down my face as I yelled, again and again.

When the sound finally abated, I found myself emptied of everything. Suddenly, keeping my eyelids open seemed to be a wasted effort. With a final, raspy sob, I sank back to the ground and closed my eyes, surrendering to the darkness and the peace I found there.

Drip
Drip
Drip

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 42

An Unexpected Twist...of Lime

Straw sat up suddenly, a thought racing through his mind. He jumped out of bed and ran down the hall, stumbling over the prone body of a bus driver that they had missed. Making a mental note to untie him and release him later, Straw continued down the hall to Thunder’s room. He burst in, tripping over a stool near the door and landing with a crash near Thunderfunk’s bed.

He shook his head and began to rise, slowly laying back down when he saw the massive gun pointed directly at his chest. “It’s just me,” he said nervously.

“Oh, Straw,” said Thunder. He didn’t move the weapon immediately.

Straw peed his pants, just a little.

“Very well, what is it?” asked Thunder crabbily. He reached down and pulled Straw to his feet by his chest hair.

“....ow....” Straw sat on the edge of the bed and blinked the tears of pain from his eyes. “I was wondering where the city got the money to pay for the mayor? They don’t have any extra in the budget, do they?”

Thunder shook his head. “The city’s coffers are currently very dry.”

“Exactly. That means they had to get outside help for the money. And who would have wanted to see your plan foiled the most?”

Thunder pondered for a moment, and then his eyes widened. “Breadbuuter,” he breathed. And then “BRRREEEAAAADDDDDD-BBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUU-UUUUUUUUUU-TTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

Straw looked at his boss. He had never seen him so angry. He turned to go, and peed his pants even more when he saw the sock puppet hanging from the doorknob.

Fools of us All - Chapter 42

I saw Caz’s sharp look, but I ignored it. I was as surprised as she was that I had somehow quoted the inscription on the cover. But there was no time to wonder about it. We had to leave quickly, before we were caught. I caught Bartleby’s eye for a moment and allowed a small grin to touch my lips before I nodded goodbye, walking out of the door.

Caz followed a moment later, her steps slow and heavy, her head hanging down. I had to grab her and pull her into the shadows when a guard came running by. She seemed to barely notice.

“C’mon, Caz,” I hissed in her ear. “We’re not getting out of here if you don’t lead the way. I am so lost right now and…nngh.” A fresh wave of pain hit me. I had wondered before, but now I was sure that it was more than my arm that had been damaged. The beating I had received had been worse than I had let on.

“Fine,” said Caz. “Follow me.” Her voice sounded hollow and lifeless, but she moved off at a quicker pace.

I was sure we were going to make it. We snuck around the building for an hour, being very careful to avoid everyone we could, not taking any chances. We could see the door across the hall from the niche in the wall behind a giant clay vase where we were hiding and there was no one in sight. Relief was now mixing with the pain I was feeling. Caz had just stepped out when I was wracked with pain unlike any I had felt before. I couldn’t stop the scream that tore itself from my throat as I collapsed against the giant vase.

Through half-closed eyes I watched the entire scene unfold in slow motion. The pottery slowly tipped over, heading for the floor. Caz turned in surprise, but before she could react, a guard appeared at the end of the hall, his weapon drawn. The vase shattered against the ground at the same time that the guard’s shot reached out to connect with Caz as she started to dive for safety.

And the entire time, the pain inside of me intensified. I could feel it washing over me like the ocean tide. I curled into a tight ball, unable to move or talk or do anything besides experience the pain. I don’t know how long I laid there, unable to even think.

So I was as surprised as anyone when I began to speak.

“And in that day a terrible cry will rise in the city, but the keeper of the light will pay it no heed. Though seeing the peril, none will recognise the danger from afar which begins from within. Remain ever vigilant against the coming day. The fallen will gain a reprieve, but a purpose must be served. Death cannot be swayed.”

The pain never stopped, even as I spoke. I don’t remember what happened next, or maybe I do remember and it makes no sense. I am sure I blacked out or began to hallucinate, because what I see when I close my eyes makes no sense. A man who looked much like me was standing where I had been only moments before. He strode forward with a purpose, fighting his way through terrified guards and awestruck scriveners until there was no one left awake in the hall. He returned to where Caz was sprawled on the floor, blood seeping into the carpet. With great tenderness he leaned down and scooped up the injured woman before striding purposefully a small room. He paused only long enough to smash a piece of glass and take the paper hanging behind it before stepping to a spot in the wall. He pressed a hidden latch and a large, round door sprang open. Before walking through he reached over and grabbed the ancient book that was laying on a stand, open to the midpoint. The door closed behind him, and I remembered no more.