Background on the Back Grounds
“Well, that was embarrassing,” huffed Thunderfunk the Superchicken as he and Straw Daq exited Cornelius J Breadbuuter’s house. “You had to scream like a terrified child, didn’t you.”
Straw shrugged helplessly. “You never have to deal with Tom and his sock puppet. It’s unnerving.” He ducked a hail of arrows, likely poison tipped, that thunked solidly into the wall of the house.
“Unnerving or not,” replied Thunder as he hopped gracefully over the logs rolling down the lawn, “you should be more polite. I can’t afford to lose face against Breadbuuter, not when the competition is so close.” He swung a fist, knocking back the attacking gorilla, making it think twice about attacking again.
Straw leapt, grabbing the giant scythe is it swung by, riding it to the top of its arc before jumping onto a nearby tree to disable the laser that was coming dangerously close to scoring a direct hit on his boss. “What’s up with the whole ‘keeping score’ thing anyway?” He clambered back to the ground, bopping a pair of assassin squirrels on the head on the way. “I’ve never quite understood that whole concept.”
“It began when we were both much younger and committing dastardly acts on a small scale.” Thunder, in an amazing display of agility and speed took out five ninjas with ease. “We weren’t always rivals. At one point we were good friends, willing to work together to (nice kick) carry out our plots. However, he began to think that he was better than I at planning heists and performing acts of evil which led to a falling out.” He paused for a moment, watching his young friend wrestle a tiger for a few moments, thinking of times gone by. “We would have killed each other long ago were it not for our competition. And, I suppose, there is a modicum of respect between the two of us.” He kicked the small dog across the lawn, smiling at its yapping.
“You realise that the dog wasn’t attacking us.”
Thunder shrugged. “I regret nothing,” he replied. A snake fell on his head, only to be seized by the neck and used as a whip against the two pirates that charged out of the trees to his right.
Straw had his hands full avoiding the blasts from a particularly aggressive robot. Finally he managed to get behind it and pull out some essential wires, leaving it free to rampage at random, destroying the giant boulder that was hurtling towards them. Some of the pieces of the boulder smashed into the hidden machine gun bunkers, eliminating yet another threat. “Why does he always wait until we leave to attack us?” mused Straw.
“He likes to lure us into a false sense of security,” replied Thunder. Nothing else seemed to be coming their way, so he straightened up, dusting off his jacket, and strode forward.
Straw followed, watching behind them to keep an eye out for last ditch efforts at eviscerating them.
“Lava Crocodiles,” said Thunder mildly.
Straw’s head whipped around. “For the last time,” he began, “there are no such things...” He stopped suddenly, waving his arms to regain his balance. His toes were hanging over the edge of the lava pit and he could feel the heat radiating upwards. Swallowing hard, he stepped back and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Walking carefully around the pit towards the Harrier Jet, he began muttering to himself. “I don’t see why anyone would even need lava crocodiles. Isn’t lava deadly enough on its own? It’s just redundant is what it is. It’s like putting poison on a guillotine. Once your head is chopped off, the poison isn’t going to do much. It’s excessive is what it is. And in tough economic times like this, isn’t it prudent to keep things simple? Sheesh...”
Thunder merely smiled.
An evil smile, of course.
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