Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 29

Keeping Tally

“So, as you can see, my latest scheme is worth a great deal of points, perhaps as many as nine?” Thunderfunk the Superchicken noted his charge’s entrance into the room behind Cornelius J Breadbuuter’s assistant who appeared to be wearing a sock on his hand. “It was a masterstroke of evil, dealing with my nuisances in one fell swoop. And,” he continued, stroking his chin, “I dealt with a number of your nuisances as well. That should entitle me to a bonus of QR points.”

Breadbuuter stamped the floor with a cane that he had not had a moment before. After pronouncing “Bah!” and “Poppycock!” to Thunder’s suggestion of a bonus, he waved his hand dismissively. “You did not ‘deal’ with the problem so much as delay it. These heroes have a nasty habit of surviving defeats and coming back to fight stronger than before. You have only succeeded in making them angry. Feh. A bonus, he says.”

The two villains settled into a spirited discussion on the merit of a bonus and the possibility of a penalty for leaving the heroes alive, though depowered. As they argued, Straw turned to his counterpart. “What’s the score at the moment?” Realising that he had just addressed the sock puppet, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He needed a vacation away from this madness. Opening his eyes, he spoke to Tom, making eye contact. “What is the score anyway?”

Slowly, Tom reached into his back pocket and pulled out a book. With exaggerated leisure and the occasional sidelong glance, he flipped through the pages until he came to the most recent update. “Well, pending the outcome of their current argument, Cornelius is leading by a score of Q12 to Sheep.”

“It’s pretty close.”

“Mm-hmm.”

...

“Do you have any idea how they keep score?”

Tom’s sock puppet slowly turned to face Straw. “Not a clue.” Straw was not sure who had answered, Tom or the puppet. When the thought that maybe Tom was the puppet ran through his head, he decided that was a good indication that he was on vacation as of that moment. Throwing his hands up in the air, he walked out of the room, feeling the eyes of the puppet following him as he left.

A final maddening thought struck him: Where had the cane gone?

The two arguing villains paused for a moment at the bloodcurdling scream of anguish that came from the front entrance. Thunder smiled. “Cornelius, you sly dog. You failed to mention that you were currently in the midst of torturing a prisoner.”

Cornelius shook his head. “My dungeon is empty at the moment. I just assumed you had brought me a present.”

The two looked at each other and then together they looked at Tom, who merely offered a wan smile before going back to petting his sock puppet.

Or was the sock puppet petting him....