Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 6

Where Not Much Actually Happens

The machine slowly came to life. Parts began turning, gears began grinding, circus music erupted from massive speakers set in the floor and ceiling, the noise echoing around the vast, half empty room. The R5 cringed, sure that their fate was sealed. "Goodbye comrades," said Gecko sorrowfully. "My only regret is that I was not able to serve with you longer." He faced forward, setting his face in an expression that he hoped was courageous with a touch of regret and sorrow – a brave face with which he would meet his end. The effect was spoiled seconds later when the restraints holding him in place popped open, dropping him unceremoniously onto the floor, followed closely by the other five. Rallying quickly, he leapt to his feet, ready to lead a charge against their captor.

"I don’t think so." Straw stood above them, holding a massive gun aimed straight at his heart. "You are free. Please leave quietly." He motioned towards the door at the far end of the room.

Staring in disbelief, Gecko could not help but speak. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Straw sighed. "Look, I don’t like killing when I don’t have to, and with Thunderfunk gone, I don’t have to."

"So you would kill us if he was still here?"

"I suppose I would have to then."

"Then we cannot let you stay free. I’m afraid we must attack."

"Three of you would die before you came close to reaching me," said Straw, waving the gun slightly as a reminder that he was not defenceless, "and I’m fairly certain I could handle the other two." Leaning casually on the railing, he assumed a conversational tone. "Truth be told, I never want to kill anyone. But sometimes life throws you curves."

"But Thunderfunk is one of the most notorious criminals of our time." Lizard sounded incredulous. "If you work for him that means you must be evil too." The others nodded their agreement.

"Do you know how many people have died at Thunderfunk’s hands since I started working for him? Seven. Compare that to over a hundred in the same time period before me. Do you want to know the truth?" Straw could tell that Frog was preparing to leap, so he fired a shot that landed directly between his muscular legs, raising the gun slightly and catching the hero’s eyes. Wisely, Frog relaxed. "I am only working for him because he needs direction. I think I can eventually turn him good, or at least neutral."

"But in the meantime," argued Gecko, "you are helping an evil genius to remain free when you could help stop us stop him for good."

Straw snorted. "If I wasn’t here, you would be dead. Thunder would not have shown mercy and you would not have survived the encounter. It is as simple as that. Everyone has a shot at making the world a better place. Sometimes it’s a process rather than a one time deal.

"Now, leave, and don’t show your face around here again. Since you are heroes, I know that is asking a lot, so maybe I should just say you should take a vacation for a good long while. Next time I may not be able to save you. Please."

Gecko looked up at the young man, weighing his options. "Okay, we will go, for now. But I don’t like this."

"You don’t have to. Goodbye." Straw watched as the heroes walked away, arguing amongst themselves. Hopefully they would heed his advice and not return. It really would be a shame to have to kill them.