Fools of us All - Chapter 48

SPIN

In all of my life, I had had no experience with the military whatsoever. On occasion I would see army trucks drive by on the highway. Once I stood in line at a Tim Horton’s behind a guy in uniform. That was about it. And then I met Caz. Since then I had been attacked by some crazy army men in a hospital, flung across time and space only to be attacked by a whole lot of soldiers in a warehouse, impersonated a guard to rescue Caz, been on the run from the army, had a fight with the guards at the scrivener base (who were not strictly army, but that’s hardly the point) and now I was about to break into a highly guarded military base to see if aliens were indeed attacking the mining colonies out in space.

I gave Caz an appraising look. “Seems okay to me,” I said. There were some advantages to breaking into the military base as opposed to the scrivener hall. For one, women were allowed in the military, so she would not stand out quite so obviously. Second, most of the M.E.R.C. uniforms included helmets with face shields. Third, there were no tracking devices like the scriveners wore, so it was easier to get in. And fourth, Caz still knew some of the codes and passwords from her time with the organisation.

We had completed the first step: we were wearing M.E.R.C. uniforms. They were slightly rumpled, but they fit well enough. The helmets had some information on a display on the inside of them, but not too much. My guess was that the people in charge did not trust their foot soldiers with too much information, so unlike the movies I had seen, I could not look at Caz and know everything about her.

A few moments later we were hiding behind a small knoll near the base. The uniforms were surprisingly warm in the chilly night air. Our helmets were sitting on the ground beside us as we found them to be somewhat stifling. We were waiting for something, but I was not sure what. Caz had grown less communicative in the past hour, simply shushing me whenever I asked for the plan. I couldn’t imagine we would just walk through the front gate, even with our disguises.

A line of soldiers appeared, marching towards the front gate. “Right on time,” I heard Caz mutter. She grabbed her helmet and put it on. I followed suit. The soldiers passed uncomfortably near to where we were sitting, but none seemed to notice. As they passed, Caz moved silently until she was walking behind the last guy in line.

I hesitated for a moment and then shook my head before joining her. Maybe we would walk through the front gate after all.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 47

Severance Package

Straw snuck out of the house, hiding behind a tree. “Mrs. Henderson,” he called out softly.

No answer.

“Mrs. Hen-nnnn-der-rrrrrr-son,” he repeated, his voice carrying further this time.

No response.

“I think it’s safe,” he shouted to the house.

“Humph.” Thunderfunk stalked onto the front walk. “I’m sure she will return. Let us depart post haste. And fire the guard.”

“Let me guess. Out of a cannon?”

“Actually, I wanted you to terminate his employment. But I like your idea better.”

“But...” Straw watched his boss walk away. Shaking his head, he walked towards the guard’s booth. The good news for the guard was that technically he was going to keep his job.

Assuming he survived.

Fools of us All - Chapter 47

CAZ

I took the binoculars from Spin and gazed at the base. There was not much activity going on at the moment, and it was bothering me. I thought that there should be more people moving around, more frantic activity. War had just been declared on an alien race, and the army wasn’t doing anything.

Spin sighed heavily beside me. “What?” I asked, not looking at him, knowing what I would see.

“I don’t see why we had to come out here in the cold,” he grumbled.

“Because the so-called war won’t wait for the weather to warm up. Besides, it’s not that cold out.”

“I can see my breath,” he replied. He was rubbing his arms vigorously, trying to warm up. “So what’s the plan?” he finally asked when I failed to respond to his complaining.

“Something’s wrong,” I answered. “We need to get in there and get some information.”

He groaned. “This is going to end with pain, isn’t it.”

I nodded. No sense in lying to him now.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 46

Anger Inducing

“Blast that infernal woman!” Thunderfunk had tired of waiting long before Mrs. Henderson had. He was now stalking from door to door, opening them and growling in frustration as he found Mrs. Henderson in front of the door, waiting for him each time. Even the secret entrances were not free from her presence.

Now he was sitting in his secret lair, brooding. He needed to get to Breadbuuter’s house so he could properly confront him. This was no time for delays of meaningless gossip and idle chit chat.

Straw entered the lair and stood behind him for a while. “You know, it would just be easier to talk to her,” he reasoned. “She is not going away. She’s brought enough yarn to knit a tent.”

On the video screens, Thunder watched as Mrs. Henderson continued to knit (or was she crocheting?) something colourful.

“Bah!” said the Superchicken.

“Maybe she will be quick once she talks to you?” Straw was clearly grasping at, well, straws.

“And again I say, ‘Bah’!” said Thunder. But time was running short. “Oh fine,” he groused. “I will meet her at the front door.” With that, he was off like a shot, hoping against hope that he would beat her there. He flung open the door and sighed heavily. “Come in, Mrs. Henderson,” he said angrily.

“Oh, no thank you dear,” said Mrs. Henderson, smiling up at him. “I was just wondering if you had seen Mr Penticton recently? The naughty thing has run off again and he will be late for din-dins.”

“Mrs. Henderson,” began Thunder with exaggerated calm, “I told you that I would destroy your cat with a laser if I found him on my property again, but I lied. I shot him out of a cannon.”

She smiled benignly at him. “That’s wonderful dear. Hello Straw,” she called, peeking around Thunder. “If you see Mr Penticton, could you send him back home?”

“Sure thing Mrs. H,” replied Straw Daq enthusiastically.

“What a dear young lad.” Mrs. Henderson placed a hand on Thunder’s arm for a second and then turned to leave. “Call me if you find him,” she said over her shoulder. And then she was gone.

Thunder stared at her back, crestfallen. He turned to face Straw, who was grinning like an idiot. “If you say one word,” he said to the young pilot, his voice low and devoid of energy, “I will fire you out of the cannon. One. Piece. At. A. Time.” With that, he stalked away to the bathroom. Revenge on Breadbuuter would wait. He needed a soothing bubble bath first.

Fools of us All - Chapter 46

SPIN

I stared at Caz, unsure of what to do. She was pacing the room frantically but not saying anything. I had not expected my news to have any effect on her at all beyond distracting her from our situation for a little while. I had not seen any aliens as of yet, nor heard of any talk beyond the usual rumours and hillbilly UFO sightings, so I assumed that there had been no intelligent life found anywhere else. I had figured it would be an interesting intellectual exercise.

“We have to go,” she kept saying, over and over again. She was limping slightly on her artificial leg.

“Go where?” I asked warily, standing with my back against the door. I think I was unconsciously guarding it, keeping her from rushing off and doing something stupid.

“Out there, to the mines.” She stopped suddenly and whirled around to stare at me. “We have to stop them.”

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. “You mean you want us to go out to the mines. In space. And stop the aliens? The aliens that might not even exist?”

I think laughing was the wrong response. She shot across the room like she had been fired from a rail gun, pinning me against the door. Even though I was almost a foot taller than her, I was helpless to stop her. She was a ball of fury and it was all focussed on me at the moment. “We have to go out there. I have to know!” was all she said. She pushed me aside and opened the door.

I coughed a few times, rubbing my throat where she had grabbed it. Hurrying after her, I tried to appeal to her reason. “We can’t just go off half-cocked,” I croaked. “We don’t know anything about what’s going on.” She ignored me and kept walking. “There are no such things as aliens!” I said.

That stopped her. She turned around and faced me. “Then how did my father die?” she asked angrily.

All I could do was shrug. “I don’t know,” I said helplessly. She had never told me, but I was sensing a connection. “Was he a miner?”

She nodded.

“Maybe it was just an accident. Mining always seems to be a dangerous operation, no matter when people are doing it.”

She shook her head. “There was always something about his death that bothered me.” The fury had gone from her demeanour, and she just looked tired. “I can’t shake the feeling that there was something sinister about his ‘accident’.”

“Yeah, but aliens? Has anyone ever seen an alien? Does anyone really believe they exist?”

With a sigh, she shook her head.

“Well then, maybe we should see what we can find here first before we head off into space.”

An odd expression crossed her face. “We? Don’t you want to go home?”

I shrugged. “Sure, at some point. But I can’t imagine how that is going to happen now. The time machine is either destroyed or in the hands of the M.E.R.C.s, which is much the same thing. I may as well help you until we can figure something out. I’m just not going to assume it is aliens.”

We walked in silence for a while until we reached a hidden door. A quick peek through the spy hole showed it to be at the end of a dark alleyway, so we snuck out, carefully marking its position in case we needed to hide again.

Reaching the end of the alley, we stepped out of the shadow into the bright sunshine. A large screen on the side of a nearby building was showing a live news report.

“And the government has released this footage along with the following statement: ‘For the first time in humanities history, we are seeing evidence of extraterrestrial life.’” The video showed a strange spaceship flying in to frame at a high speed and landing roughly. A pair of strange beings leapt out of the ship and lowered weapons, firing them indiscriminately into a crowd of terrified miners. A few moments later, the aliens and the ship were gone. The newscaster’s face appeared again, a freeze frame of one of the aliens face floating above his left shoulder. “‘We do not condone these attacks,’ the statement continues, ‘and we will be responding swiftly to defend ourselves.’

“The military has issued a call to all reservists and cancelled all leave. Troops and ships will begin shipping out soon.” He continued to drone in the background, but we stopped listening. We stepped back into the alley. Caz looked at me pointedly.

I looked back at her, and all I could think to say was “huh. Answers one question anyway.”

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 45

The Waiting Game (Is Not Much Fun)

Thunder moved the shade on the window a fraction of an inch. Mrs. Henderson was still out there, smiling benignly.

But she would move eventually. He could wait.

He could wait.

Fools of us All - Chapter 45

CAZ

I sat up suddenly. My stomach heaved, but there was nothing in it to expel. I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes until my head stopped spinning. Cautiously, I opened my eyes and looked around. There was not much to see in the gloomy light that was shining through a single window set high in the wall. I was in a room, lying on a pad on the floor. The walls were damp there was an unpleasant odour in the air. I wrinkled my nose and then made an attempt at standing.

A jolt of pain spread from my shoulder, but I gritted my teeth and leaned on the wall, waiting for it to subside. My arm was bound against my body, keeping it immobile. My artificial leg was stiff as I walked around the room.

When the door opened a few minutes later, I was poking at some of the electronic innards of my leg. It needed a good cleaning, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage. I replaced the skin and winced as I could feel it self-healing.

“Here’s some food,” said Spin. He brought over a hunk of bread with some meat and cheese.

I ate in silence, accepting the small flask of water and washing down my impromptu meal. “Nothing for you?” I asked, wiping the crumbs on my pants.

He shook his head. “I already ate,” he said, falling silent again.

We stared at each other in the gloom. “How long was I out?”

“About two weeks.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Long enough for you to heal I guess.” I stared at his arm. There seemed to be no bruising or anything, and he was moving it freely.

“Yeah, well,” he said. “So I’ve been getting information, at least as best I can, and something seems to be happening that I don’t understand. I thought you could help.”

I studied him intensely for a moment. He didn’t want to tell me something, but I was not sure what that might be. “What,” I asked wearily, deciding not to press the point.

“The news has been reporting possible alien contact in the mines. It‘s put the story of two fugitives stealing valuable archival material off the front page.”

His words hit me like a punch to the stomach. I slumped against the wall and slid to the floor. “Daddy?” The word slipped out without me meaning to say it. I jumped suddenly to my feet, all other considerations forgotten. I had a question that needed answering, and it needed answering now.