Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 35

Best. Plan. Ever.

“Very well,” said Thunderfunk the Superchicken. He settled back in his chair and steepled his fingers in front of him in a manner that he desperately hoped conveyed evil. “My plan is to first kidnap half of the city’s bus drivers. While they are helpless, the hapless citizens of this town will be forced to miss bus after bus, thus creating confusion and economic troubles as businesses will have trouble remaining open when their staff cannot come to work. I will then provide staff to take up the slack at the bus company, but unbeknownst to the transportation company, the drivers I provide will be evil, concentrating on rudeness and tardiness, as well as getting lost and, perhaps, some minor kidnapping.

“Speaking of kidnapping, I will kidnap the mayor and demand an exorbitant ransom. I realise that the ransom will not be payed, but that is fine as the real goal is to show how weak the city government is. Afterwards I will release the mayor in a public place, but completely naked to further humiliate him.

“And finally, in the confusion, I will rob a bank.” He smiled confidently, already planning on where he would spend the money.

Straw stood up and left the room. He went back to the sitting room and grabbed the open bottle of Manzanilla. He took it back to the lair and stared at Thunder, who was looking quite pleased with himself. Opening the bottle, Straw downed the entire thing in one long pull. As he felt the warmth of the alcohol beginning to spread across his body, Straw smiled. “Unbelievable,” he said before passing out.

Thunder looked at his protege. What in the world could that mean? he wondered.

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