Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 10

Some Dreams Do Come True

Crash! The dinosaur’s footsteps grew closer. Boom! Straw cowered under the roots of the tree, hoping that the creature would not notice him there. Pow! "This is ridiculous," muttered the irascible unicorn cowering beside him. Whazzle! Straw scratched his head. A unicorn? Whazzle as a footstep sound effect? What was going on? And why was he shaking so violently? "Wake up you impudent cur!" shouted the tree roots as they grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

Slowly, Straw opened his eyes, recoiling in horror at the sight of a giant chicken standing over him, shaking him vigorously. He blinked hard as the bird let him go and rushed away, banishing the final dregs of sleep from his consciousness, calming as he did. The giant bird was Thunderfunk the Superchicken, his boss. That was normal. The regular crashes coming from the walls around him, however, were an oddity. He looked around and finally noticed the flashing red lights around him. Their secret base, it would appear, was under attack. Possibly by a giant dinosaur he thought with a slight chuckle.

Jumping to his feet, he sank back into his chair, rubbing his now bruised knee. "Dangit!" he yelled at no one in particular. Carefully returning to his feet, he hobbled to where Thunderfunk was waiting in the small elevator car that would whisk them to the war room where his aeroplane hangar was located. Pulling out his iCom, the latest in Apple’s line of devices for evil masterminds, he hit the button that opened the channel to the war room. "Cetine," he said as he sat down. "Please activate the Stearman for me, and make sure that Thunder’s rocket pack is fuelled and prepared." A single beep acknowledged his transmission. He settled back for the quick trip, rubbing his sore knee.

Thunder looked down at him. "Cetine?"

"It felt too dorky to always be saying ‘computer, do whatever’, so I gave it a name."

"Ah." Silence. Then, "Cetine?"

Straw shrugged.

The elevator car stopped with a light jerk and the doors whooshed opened. Straw could here his beloved Stearman idling in the corner. He ran over, grabbing the old style leather helmet and goggles that he preferred over more modern wear. He climbed swiftly into the cockpit and strapped himself in, taxiing to the end of the runway. He watched Thunder put on the rocket pack he wore for flying and the weapons belt that carried some guns and grenades. Slipping on his own helmet, the giant bird looked at his protege and gave him the thumbs up. Together they sped down the runway tunnel, bursting into the bright afternoon sunshine.

Quickly gaining altitude, Straw banked sharply, performing a barrel roll for the sheer pleasure of it before turning to do a flyby of the base to see what was happening. He dove to a lower altitude and looked in amazement. As it turns out, it was a dinosaur attacking them. He made a low pass, firing his machine guns into the creature’s side to little effect. He could see explosions raining down upon the giant thunder lizard as Thunderfunk dropped grenades on it. Toggling his radio, he spoke to his boss. "I’m going to fire a couple of missiles," he said. "Stay clear." He activated the heat-seakers housed under the wings, only to be frustrated by a lack of a good lock. "Stupid cold-blooded animal," he muttered under his breath. Shrugging to himself, he decided to fire the missiles anyway. Both connected, one at the base of the neck and the other at the centre of the head. Huge chunks of flesh and machinery exploded out of the creature as it continued to hammer at the building.

"Fantastic," came Thunderfunk’s voice over the radio. "It appears to be a bio-mechanical creation. Allow me the pleasure." With that he pulled out his BFG Laser. Hovering near the creatures head, he lined up his shot. Firing the weapon caused him to fly back nearly a kilometre before he was able to regain control. The creature’s head gracelessly disconnected itself from the body and went bouncing down the hill on which the base was set. The body paused, comically waving its arms around for a moment as though searching for its head, and then exploded, sending Thunder, who had just returned, tumbling through the air for nearly a kilometre before he could regain control again.

Straw’s Stearman was buffeted by the explosion as well, but he had wisely gained enough altitude to not be affected overly much. Making a slow speed pass to assess the damage he was pleased when it appeared there was only superficial damage to the outside of the building. The subcontractors who had completed the work here would get a bonus. Or at least be allowed to live. "Return to base," came Thunder’s voice over the radio. Waggling the plane’s wings in acknowledgement, Straw headed back to the landing strip, wondering what the whole incident had been about.