Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 13

Foreign Lands

After an hour in the cab, Thunderfunk leaned forward and tapped the driver on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir. Do you actually know where you are going?" Once again, the cabbie bobbed his head, a large grin on his face. Another half hour and finally Thunder had had enough. Leaning forward again, he spoke in a clear, crisp voice. "Listen here. I have had enough of this tomfoolery. Either take us to the hotel, or pay the consequences!" Moments later, Thunder and Straw stood in silence on the street corner, watching the cab drive away.

Finally, Straw voiced his opinion. "I told you we should have found a cab driver that spoke English." He gathered up their luggage and started walking down the street.

Quickly Thunderfunk caught up to his companion. "I suppose you know where you’re going now do you," he growled, his voice full of menace. A glance around the area showed a complete lack of English signs, which was not a surprise, given that they were currently in Tokyo, Japan.

"Not really," came the ready reply, "but it can’t be any worse than where you ended up leading us." The sarcasm in his voice was light enough that it may have been imagined. He kept walking, ignoring the furious pecking that was raining down on his head. Once Thunder’s fury was abated, Straw asked a question that had been on his mind for at least the past two minutes. "I thought you said there would be dire consequences if we weren’t taken to the hotel. Usually that means you blow up their car, or ruin their credit rating, or force them to work for Microsoft. Y’know, something evil. Yet you let this guy drive away. Why?"

A quiet chuckle emerged from the giant chicken. "Well, my young protégé, his punishment was simple, but immediate. When we left the cab, I gave him exactly what we owed him, and not a yen more!"

"Oh, that’s cold."


Three hours later, a disheveled chicken stumbled into the Marriott hotel (motto: Conveniently less than five minutes from the airport!) and made his way to the check-in counter. "I’m here…" he gasped. "To check…." he moaned. "In…" he nearly collapsed on the counter.

Behind him, Straw strolled casually into the lobby, waving behind him as he came. "Thanks for the drink," he called out, holding up a Coke. "And for the advice. I will definitely try not to bite any wax tadpoles."

Thunder looked behind him and scowled before straightening himself up, smoothing his rumpled suit and adopting a properly haughty demeanour. "The name is Thunderfunk the Superchicken, and I have a reservation." He watched with growing agitation as the desk clerk, dressed impeccably in a navy blue three piece suit, started typing in his computer and making clucking noises with his tongue. "Are you mocking me?" he barked.

Startled, the man looked up. "No sir." He tapped a few more keys on his computer before shaking his head. "I am sorry sir," he said, his English only slightly accented. "I do not speak English. Please give me a moment and I will find someone to translate." He scurried away only to be replaced by another clerk dressed in the same outfit.

"Yes sir, how can I help such a distinguished guest?" The clerk was smaller than the last guy, but was nearly indistinguishable otherwise. It seemed that the hotel was using clones.

Thunder filed that information away for later exploration and made a second try to get his room. "Yes, I have a reservation. The name is Thunderfunk, the Superchicken."

Once again the clerk checked his computer before finally looking up with an apologetic face. "I’m sorry sir. We seem to have given your room to someone else." Noting the fury that was building in the chicken’s eyes, he hurried on. "When you did not arrive for your check in time, we assumed you were not going to make it."

Leaning forward, Thunder reached over the desk and picked the clerk up by the lapel of his jacket. "Listen to me, and listen closely." His voice was quiet and threatening. "I reserved a room. I was at the airport five hours ago. I am a very rich person. I want a room, and I want a room now. If I don’t get a room, then I will rain such horrors on your head that even your ancestors will feel the pain. Now go." Dropping the clerk, he turned and stalked past Straw Daq, growling out instructions: "Make sure that idiot gets us a room." Moments later he disappeared into the attached bar, probably to drown his angst in sake.

"Nice to see the travel hasn’t dampened his sunny disposition," muttered the pilot as he made his way to the desk. Sympathetically smiling at the clerk, he waited for the man to gather his wits about him again. "Hi," he started out, "I’m with the giant angry chicken. He’s just grumpy when he hasn’t eaten."

The clerk nodded slightly and then went about finding them a room. A couple minutes of searching produced a result. Twenty minutes later, Straw was trying to calm an enraged chicken as they viewed the room they had been given. Large, containing two bedrooms, a Jacuzzi in each room, and a monster living area, it was one of the nicest rooms Straw had ever seen. Something about it seemed to have upset his counterpart, who was in all of his raging glory. "I can’t believe they would do this to me," he lamented, stomping around the living room. "Don’t they know who I am? I am a very important guest, and very rich. My business is very important to them and this is how they treat me?" A sweep of the arm indicated the entire room. "Is this all that customer service means to them? Who’s running this place, a monkey?" An incoherent flurry of clucking erupted from the enraged fowl before he stood by the massive television, fuming.

Almost scared to ask, Straw ventured a question. "What exactly is wrong with this room?"

"Don’t you know anything?" snapped Thunderfunk. "These colours are all autumn colours, and I am so obviously a summer!"

Straw rolled his eyes. "Maybe we should concentrate on what we came for, namely stopping First Lieutenant Awesomepant’s plans."

"Right." Thunderfunk sat down on the couch and pulled out a cookie. "These things are delicious," he said almost dreamily as Straw set up their mobile work station. Soon he would stop this plan. After that, maybe he could get the recipe.

Fools of us All - Chapter 13

I wiped the remnants of tears from my eyes. The past few months had been difficult for me and the last week especially so. It felt good to release those emotions. I looked over at the young man beside me, noting his apprehensive expression. I couldn't blame him for his scepticism of before, as I couldn't blame him for his nervousness now. Even though he now believed what I had said to be true, the implications therein were rather severe. He seemed to come to an acceptance faster than I had when I had been told much the same story by Dun a lifetime ago.

With a sudden nod of the head, he reached into his pocket. Some decision had been made, and now he was acting on it. Fascinated I watched as he pulled out a primitive communication device and flipped it open, pressing a button before placing it to his face.

"Hello mom," he said into the device. "Oh, you've already heard. Don't worry, everyone is fine. No one was hurt. Okay okay, Gerry was hurt, but not seriously. They're only keeping him in the hospital as a precaution."No mom...mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM!" He rolled his eyes in exasperation and listened for some time. I hid my smile behind my hand. "No, we're fine, don't worry. Yes the car is driveable. The windshield is being repaired right now, I can afford it.
"Look, I just wanted you to know that I am going to be a few extra days out here. No, I don't hate you. Mom, will you pipe down for a minute?" By now his head was resting against the steering wheel. I didn't bother hiding my smile any longer. This was the most amusing thing I had witnessed in some time.

Finally he managed to get a word in edgewise. "I met an...old friend here in town.
"In Moose Jaw. We're going to stay here for a bit and hang out for a while.
"No, I'm not sure when I'll be home." He looked at me, a sly grin on his face. "We'll just have to see how the timing works out."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"I'm not sure what Cindy and Gerry are going to do. He might be in the hospital for a few more days, we'll see. And if not we might send them ahead on the bus or help them rent a car or something. We'll figure that out. But I have to go now. I'll call you later. Yes, I love you too. Okay mom, good-bye." He closed his communicator and slipped it back in his pocket. "Oi."

I laughed for a bit and he smiled at me. But all good times, it seems, must come to an end, and this brief respite was no exception. "So what's our next move?"

I had anticipated the question, but I had no ready answer. "If we had any further information it would probably be easier to say, but you now know all that I know."

"Hmm, and that's not much."

We lapsed into silence, watching as a few final drops of rain splattered against the windshield. The rain was going away, and the sun was valiantly trying to break through.

Suddenly Spin perked up. "I don't know all that you know. You have that glowy globe, the one you threw at the thugs in the hospital. What exactly does that thing do?"

I could feel my cheeks become warmer. "I don't actually know. Dar died before he told me what it was for."

"So you threw it?" Spin shook his head. "I'm glad it wasn't a bomb."

I merely shrugged. What more could I say.

Spin opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by two small beeps. He looked at the device on his wrist. "Oh man, we'd better get back to the hospital before Cindy or Gerry miss us."

I shook my head. "I cannot return there. Those goons may still be lurking around, or the staff will recognise me and try to examine me again. Too many truths may be found out and that will complicate things unnecessarily." At his confused expression and indicated my left leg. He tilted his head and then his face brightened as he remembered.

"Just stay in the car, then, and I will go in and deal with Cindy and Gerry myself."

Again I indicated my disapproval. "I do not think that it would be wise to separate at this point. If something should happen to one of us it could spell major trouble."

He looked out the front window for a moment and then back at me. I wasn't sure I liked the grin on his face.

* * * * * *

Twenty minutes later I was sure I didn't like the grin on his face. We had made a couple of quick stops on the way back to the hospital. I was now standing outside of Gerry's room wearing a long blonde wig, high heels and a dress. I also had a large pair of sunglasses, three gaudy (but fake) diamond rings on my fingers and extremely vivid red lipstick. His instructions to me were to stand in the hallway, chew my gum and look suitably ditzy. "Flirting with the doctors probably wouldn't be a bad idea either," he had said before disappearing into the room. I still wasn't sure why I had agreed to this ridiculous plan. After a few minutes he came out of the room and grinned when he saw me. "Well hey there good lookin'," he said mischievously. "You going my way?"

I pulled the sunglasses down to the end of my nose so I could properly glare at him. "Careful or you are going to regret that you made me wear high heels."

He nodded but didn't stop smiling. "I've managed to explain everything to them satisfactorily enough. Gerry is supposed to get out today and then they are going to rent a car to drive home. He said I could pay him back later. So we're free to do what we need to do."

I pushed my glasses back up to cover my eyes. "I've been thinking about that. I think our best bet would be to find somewhere so I can get information about this time. It may be that we are to accomplish a task in this time era."

"A task?"

"It occurred to me that I was given two recall devices, which means that you are to go back with me. Obviously you have some part to play in your future. But it is also in our best interest to ensure that we do everything that we can do here before we leave. We may not be able to return and if we leave anything undone it may prove to be costly." I watched as the full weight of my words hit him.

"May not be able to return?"

I nodded. "Surely the M.E.R.C.s have destroyed the machine by now. I do not even know if we will be able to return to my time without it, but I suspect that the recall devices will still be able to do that. But once we are back in my time we will no longer be able to use the machine to return you to now."

"IF it was destroyed." He said this almost desperately.

"Yes," I agreed softly. "If."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "All right then, I think I know of a place. Let's go." With a sense of purpose he turned and began to walk down the corridor. I followed, glad that he seemed to be accepting things fairly well. It would not have been good to see him resisting what he had heard.

We rounded a corner and I had to stifle a gasp even as I grabbed Spin and shoved him back around the corner where he fell to his knees. Exiting a room was one of the bruisers we had confronted before. He paused at the threshold and looked back inside. "Don't worry Tank, I'll find the punks who did this to you. They won't get far." With that he closed the door softly, his expression dour. With a well practiced flick of the eyes he scanned the hallway, hesitating only slightly when he saw me. He didn't recognise me behind my disguise, however, and with a slight nod he turned and walked the other way, disappearing around a corner.

"What was that all about?" Spin had regained his feet and was peering around the corner.

I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. "It was one of the thugs. The other one is in that room there--" I pointed down the hall-- "and neither, it would seem, are too happy at the moment." Turning around I headed back the way we had come. "I think it would be best if we took the stairs."

A few minutes later we stood at the bottom of the stairs, peering out of the door for any signs of our thuggish friend. Everything appeared to be clear, so we cautiously made our way towards the main waiting area and our exit. I was watching behind us when I heard Spin make an interested sound.

"Huh. I don't think I've seen those uniforms before."

I turned my head and stopped cold. Grabbing Spin's arm I pulled him back a couple steps. "That's because it does not become a uniform for some time yet." I found that I was whispering, my throat suddenly dry. "Those are M.E.R.C.s."

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 12

Flying Can Be Stressful

Straw fidgeted in his seat, playing with the tray in front of him, putting it up and down repeatedly. He had never enjoyed being the passenger in an aeroplane, always preferring to be the pilot. But not matter how hard he had argued, he had been unable to change Thunderfunk’s mind, so here he sat. He leaned into the aisle, hoping to catch a glance at his boss, but the curtain to the first class section was closed. Sighing heavily, he leaned back in his seat and tried to get some sleep. After a few moments he opened one eye to glare at the man in the seat beside him, mentally commanding him to stop talking, but the ploy failed, as it had the last dozen times. As soon as the plane had left the runway, this man had been chattering non-stop, perfectly content to carry the conversation by himself, which was good because he was speaking in a language that Straw did not know - possibly Russian, but it was hard to tell. Closing his eyes once again, Straw tried to let the droning of the chatterbox lull him to sleep. It was a long trip to Japan, but hopefully he would get off at one of their stopovers.


Thunder reclined his seat, accepting the pillow and blanket from the attendant. All things considered, this was a rather comfortable journey. Not as comfortable as his private jet would have been, but adequate. He rolled an eye towards the back of the plane, but was unable to see his minion through the curtain. Still, he chuckled at the imagined sight of Straw Daq stuck in coach while he, Thunderfunk the Superchicken, rode in the finest comfort possible in commercial air services. For that was truly the only reason that he had insisted on not taking the private jet – was to see Straw suffer. It was good being evil.


The plane finally touched down in Japan. Straw’s eyes were bloodshot from a lack of sleep. Three layovers, and somehow he had been next to a man who spoke no language that he knew, but who spoke his own language non-stop – possibly the only man in the world who could talk for that long without stopping or sleeping. Even now, as they were taxiing to a stop he was still chatting.

The stewardess came by as the plane stopped. "Thank you for flying with us," she said sweetly.
"Enjoy your stay in Japan."

"I always do," said Straw’s seat mate. "I love this country."

(AP) Tokyo - An American man was arrested today at Tokyo’s Narita
International Airport when he assaulted the man in the seat next to him.
Witnesses say that as police escorted him off of the plane he was shouting "28
straight hours!" a message that none were able to explain. More details to
follow as they become available.

Fools of us All - Chapter 12

Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.

For a long time the only sound was my windshield wipers against the window, clearing away the great splotches of rain that continued to fall all around us. I was glad that the car had a strong fan, enough to keep the fog from clouding the windows again. The man at the repair shop had said that my new windshield would be repaired in a few hours and they were kind enough to provide me with a courtesy vehicle in the meantime. Since there was nothing else to do I decided that I felt like driving around, and Caz had come along.

A left turn put us on a nearly deserted street. Caz had just finished relating her recent history to me, right up to the moment that I smashed her with my car. It was hard to put into words what I was thinking. A glance over at her showed that she was watching me intently, looking for a reaction of some kind. "I...find this very hard to believe," I finally said, scepticism colouring my voice. A time travelling girl from the future looking for me because together we could save the world. I just couldn't see how it could be true.

I obviously disappointed her. "I realise this is a bit of a shock, but you must understand - the prophecy was very clear that you are the saviour foretold." Her eagerness was almost infectious, but it was just too hard to believe.

"Ah yes, the prophecy. I don't see how you can believe in such nonsense. No one from the future would ever believe in prophecy and oracles and omens. Isn't the future a place of reason?" Back at the hospital, she had seemed to alluring, so exotic. I had been ready to believe anything, especially when the two thugs jumped us. But now that I had had some time to think, some time to clear my head and let the adrenaline wear off, I saw that she was just a con artist. I bet she just owed those guys some money and didn't want to pay up. Travelling from the future indeed.

"Ignorant fool." She sat back, a scowl on her face. "You look at the world and just assume that all you can see is all that there is. It is a pity that you are not blind enough to truly see." With that cryptic comment she lapsed into silence.

Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.

"You know," I began casually, "I was ready to believe almost anything about you. There were many stories that you could have told me that I may have believed. But a story about oracles and time travel is entirely too far of a stretch. I'm sorry." The thing of it was, I really was sorry. There was something about her that just fascinated me.

Without warning she leaned over and pulled the wheel sharply, forcing me to park roughly at the side of the road. "You desire proof, you want signs and wonders in order to believe. Perhaps then you can find the faith to understand what I have told you. Or perhaps not." With a quick move she dropped her pants down to her ankles. "I will give you your sign."

Before I had a chance to feel appropriately uncomfortable, a knife appeared in her hand. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she lowered the tip of the knife against her left knee. Digging it in, she slowly pulled the knife down the side of her calf, drawing a red line down her leg. I could see in her face that this hurt her, and I moved to stop her.

"What are you doing?" As my hand reached the knife it was moved to the bottom of my chin.

"Touch me and I'll ensure the prophecy is false myself."

I got her meaning and sat back, wincing as the knife returned to her leg. Two quick slashes at either end of the self-induced gash turned the skin into a flap. Placing the knife on the seat beside her she reached down and carefully started to pull the skin back.

That was more than I could handle. I closed my eyes and turned away. A hand slick with blood grabbed my face, turning it back to face the leg. "Open your eyes. See your wonder."

Reluctantly I peeked one eye open. Slowly my other eye opened beneath furrowed brow. For rather than blood, bone, and brawn, there was instead metal, wire, and blinking lights. Traces of red liquid (I couldn't call it blood) were smeared around the edges of the cut and dabbed a few spots here and there.

"When I was ten, I fell down into a ravine. A small avalanche of rocks followed behind me and my leg was caught underneath. By the time I was found my leg was no longer salvageable. I had to be fitted with a new leg every year until my sixteenth birthday when I stopped growing." Carefully she placed the flap of skin back where it had been. "Medical science has come quite far, but it has yet been able to make a prosthetic that does not cause pain to the user." I watched in amazement as the skin started to repair itself before my eyes. "The skin around the limb is artificial, but the nerves to which it is attached are very real."

Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.

I swallowed hard. Suddenly an oracle didn't seem quite so far out of the question. "Does that hurt every time?" I was finding it hard to look away from her leg. It was almost completely smooth. Only a faint line remained, showing where she had cut.

Pulling her pants back up she nodded. "I can feel it with every step. It was a long time before I was able to block the pain out enough to run. Now it is second nature, but the pain is never gone." She turned to face me. "Try and tell me that you have anything like this right now."

I couldn't. With great reluctance my head started to accept what I had already known deep down was true. "You really are from the future." She nodded. "And that means I really am supposed to save the world." Again she nodded. "Any idea how?"

A sigh escaped her lips, partly, I think, in relief that I finally believed her, and partly in frustration. "No. Before they could tell me anything more I had to leave. I don't know what we are supposed to do now!" The frustration in her voice was palpable, causing me to pull back ever so slightly. A completely useless feeling washed over me when I saw the tears begin to flow down her face. Hesitantly I reached out and put a comforting arm around her shoulder, letting her cry. Truth be told, I had no idea what to do or say, and kind of felt like crying myself. The world as I knew it had suddenly changed. The rain outside seemed to fit my mood exactly.

Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.
Zzzz-kchunk.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 11

Thunderfunk Practices Brooding. That Is Why He Is So Good At It.

Thunder stood stoically in the centre of the war room, staring at the damage report on the screen. It was relatively minor given the size of the beast that had attacked his lair. Truth be told, it was not the damage that had bothered him, but rather it was the temerity of the act. He wondered who would have the gall to attack him so blatantly. Luckily for his assistant it had been a gargantuan lizard that had assailed them, and not a giant reptile. Perhaps the R5 was gone, for a time at least.

A soft beeping interrupted his musings. Turning to face Straw Daq, he cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"I think I have it figured out," said the young man, waving a sheaf of papers.

"Do tell."

"The dinosaur was a distraction." Thunder raised an eyebrow, but did not comment otherwise.

"Yeah, it would seem that First Lieutenant Awesomepants has already teamed up with Robowizardry-Man and they sent the giant robot to distract us."

Furrowing his brow, Thunder said, "and how did you come upon this information?"

Straw shrugged. "Awesomepants has a very detailed blog. He just updated it a few minutes ago. Either he thought the robot would keep us busy for much longer, or he thought we would never find his blog."

"I see." Thunder stroked his beak, lost deep in thought. "Show me who he has recruited, or is likely to recruit onto this super-hero team of his." He stared at the list of names that flashed on the screen. It was a substantial number of very important heroes. This was a credible threat after all. "We must deal with this, and soon."

"How soon?" asked Straw.

"Immediately," they said in unison. Thunder looked at his protoge.

"It’s always immediately with you. I think you need to learn to relax once in a while." Straw leaned back in his chair, putting his hands on the back of his head and stretching out his legs.

Fixing an icy glare at the young man, Thunder said, "I will rest when I have dealt with those who are trying to destroy me. In the meantime, we must move to make the first strike and nip this problem in the bud." He lowered his voice menacingly. "Immeditlmeft." Almost of its own free will, another one of the cookies had made its way into his mouth. Even now they were still chewy.

Fools of us All - Chapter 11

A group of people were waiting to greet me as I left the examining room. They were all strangers to me, but that was no surprise. In the past few days everyone I had known had been killed, leaving me as alone as I've ever been.

Standing in the aftermath of the brief fight, I had felt my world crumbling. Dar was dead, Dun’s body was buried under the rubble, and the smell of burning bodies had nearly overwhelmed me. My survival instinct had kicked in and within moments I was on the run, trying to make certain that I would not be around when the obligatory authorities arrived. My first stop was the docks where I found the locker containing the globe. After that, I had used the emergency phone number and been picked up within moments, finding myself whisked away to a seemingly abandoned warehouse nearby. Inside I had found a massive machine standing nearly two stories high. They had only given me time for a quick glance before putting me in the infirmary to patch me up.

"...and it's an honour to finally be meeting you." A hand was held out in front of me, and grasped it in a firm handshake. I realised that I hadn't been paying attention and they had started to make introductions. Honestly, I didn't much care.

The group started walking around the building. It wasn't much more than a large warehouse that had been gutted. A massive machine sat in the middle of the room, humming in the background. As I looked at it, I was a little disappointed. It looked rather frail.

The man whose hand I had shaken saw me looking at it and grinned. "I see you like our little device," he said expansively. The pride on his face led me to believe that this was the lead researcher on the project. I nodded, not ready to trust my voice in the overwhelming group that surrounded me. "Well, I'm glad you do. We've put a great deal of work into this project, and it was all for you. I couldn't be happier."

Something about how he said that tickled my mind every so slightly. His grin didn't seem as sunny as it had a moment before. I didn't have a chance to explore this thought because the doctor broke in at that point. "We don't have time to go into the details of the machine right now Doctor Stevn. Caz has to get prepped for the mission. There is a full briefing in a few minutes."

Dr Stevn nodded. "Of course, of course. We will talk later my dear." He walked away briskly, disappearing into a lab.

"Now, Caz," said a kindly woman, "your mission, as I'm sure you know, is very important to, well, the world. It seems like a great deal to handle on your own. But don't you worry. We have a whole cache of gadgets and information to make everything a snap. Come with me to the briefing room and everything will be explained."

Ten minutes later I found myself sitting in a small room at one end of a table. The room was featureless except for a large window that looked out over the warehouse. A set of stairs had led up to the room as it was situated at least a full storey above the ground. On the table there was a small holo-projector set in the middle. Two other people were in the room with me and that was enough to make it feel crowded. The projector came to life, starting to play a mini-drama, as the man on the left began to speak. "Many years ago there was an omen given to our people, a prophecy of great importance. That prophecy spoke of a dark time, a time when life would become unbearable for all those who live, where the dead were counted among the fortunate." Images of war and of pain played across the table as people were cut down in agony. "But amidst the suffering there would rise one who was able to lead them, one from a far-flung place not known to us now. He would be able to stop the uprising, but not alone. A brave warrior would be sent to find him and to bring him back. Together they would bring freedom to a land long oppressed." As the story came to a crescendo the images flashed quicker and it soon became possible to only see one man and one woman, surrounded by the swirling images, battered and bruised, but ultimately victorious. "That traveller, that warrior, Caz, is you."

I had already heard some of this, but this was the first time I was confronted with the whole story. "What...?" was all I could manage. I felt dizzy."

I know it is hard to understand, but you must trust us on this." It was the same woman again. She was obviously very important. Everyone had been deferring to her ever since I first saw her. I studied her closely, and in response to her unanswered question she said "My name is Amanda Brun, and I run the organisation. And I have to say, I think you are holding up marvellously considering the circumstances." She smiled at me, but there was a great sadness there."

Someone needs to start explaining things to me much less theatrically, and they have to do it soon." I was trying to be gruff, but it was mostly bluster and hot air. I was terrified.

Impressed with my spirit, Amanda smiled. "Very well. First things first." She reached down and handed me a pair of wristbands. "These will bring you back here to this machine-" she waved a hand at the centre of the warehouse "-as well as the one you are to retrieve. We don't know a great deal about him, but we do know he lived in the early 21st century and he went by the name Spin."

"21st century?" I rubbed my ears, and then my forehead where the headache was forming. "That's going to be a little tough."

The man stood up and looked out the window at the machine. "Doctor Stevn is a brilliant man, Caz, and he has managed to create something that no one thought possible. You will be able to return to the 21st century and find that which we seek."

I stared at his back and then turned my head to face Amanda, who nodded. "It's true, my dear. And with that invention we will be able to save our world. Now, let's get down to the specifics."

Before she could continue I heard a large crash from outside the warehouse, followed immediately by an alarm. Amanda looked up, her eyes wide. "They've found us!"

Pandemonium reigned downstairs. The sound of gunfire and explosions sounded louder and more frequent outside and on the inside armed men and women were running around, yelling things to each other. I followed Amanda as she rushed down the stairs. "We have to get you out of here. This base is compromised. We must regroup and..." Her thought was never finished as shot rang out, piercing her through the heart. Almost simultaneously the entire wall of the warehouse disintegrated, falling inwards with a crash that seemed to reverberate forever.

In the newly created hole I could see the uniforms of the M.E.R.C.s. I knew enough about them to realise that the building was surrounded. I had no escape. Frantically I looked around for a weapon, hoping to make a last stand. Instead my eyes fell upon the machine. With a sigh of resignation I realised that my path was set. Sprinting towards the machine I grabbed a lab technician hunkering behind a console. "Can you operate this thing?" I shouted to be heard above the sound of the gunfight being waged.

He looked at me in shock, then at the machine in front of us, and then back at me. "You're crazy, I hope you realise that." Moving quickly to small booth he flipped a few switches. "Luckily we have had it powered up all day. Go stand on the platform."

I moved towards the stairs, but stopped when he grabbed my arm. "One more thing - this is going to hurt like hell. I just thought you should know that!" He let me go and concentrated on preparing my departure.

Muttering oaths under my breath I climbed up to the platform as was immediately surrounded by energy. It glowed softly and then more ferociously. The last sight I saw before it completely obscured my vision was the technician waving at me, and then being shot twice in the chest. I looked over to see the same man pointing his gun at me. As he squeezed the trigger the energy suddenly compacted itself around me, blinding me completely. A thousand hot knives followed by a thousand icicles followed by a peeling of the skin followed by shattering bones followed by rending muscles followed by stretched tendons followed by intense pressure followed by sudden darkness and wetness.

I stood for a moment, crying with the memory of the pain. Lights came towards me at a great speed and suddenly I jumped, feeling cold metal smash into my legs and glass shattering on my back. Without conscious thought I clung for my life, holding on as I spun and whirled to a stop. Something below me opened and a figure leaned out, gagging. My hand fell limply down, brushing his head. "It's not to late," I breathed as my strength gave out completely. As I slid downwards I gratefully swam in the darkness that came to claim me.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 10

Some Dreams Do Come True

Crash! The dinosaur’s footsteps grew closer. Boom! Straw cowered under the roots of the tree, hoping that the creature would not notice him there. Pow! "This is ridiculous," muttered the irascible unicorn cowering beside him. Whazzle! Straw scratched his head. A unicorn? Whazzle as a footstep sound effect? What was going on? And why was he shaking so violently? "Wake up you impudent cur!" shouted the tree roots as they grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

Slowly, Straw opened his eyes, recoiling in horror at the sight of a giant chicken standing over him, shaking him vigorously. He blinked hard as the bird let him go and rushed away, banishing the final dregs of sleep from his consciousness, calming as he did. The giant bird was Thunderfunk the Superchicken, his boss. That was normal. The regular crashes coming from the walls around him, however, were an oddity. He looked around and finally noticed the flashing red lights around him. Their secret base, it would appear, was under attack. Possibly by a giant dinosaur he thought with a slight chuckle.

Jumping to his feet, he sank back into his chair, rubbing his now bruised knee. "Dangit!" he yelled at no one in particular. Carefully returning to his feet, he hobbled to where Thunderfunk was waiting in the small elevator car that would whisk them to the war room where his aeroplane hangar was located. Pulling out his iCom, the latest in Apple’s line of devices for evil masterminds, he hit the button that opened the channel to the war room. "Cetine," he said as he sat down. "Please activate the Stearman for me, and make sure that Thunder’s rocket pack is fuelled and prepared." A single beep acknowledged his transmission. He settled back for the quick trip, rubbing his sore knee.

Thunder looked down at him. "Cetine?"

"It felt too dorky to always be saying ‘computer, do whatever’, so I gave it a name."

"Ah." Silence. Then, "Cetine?"

Straw shrugged.

The elevator car stopped with a light jerk and the doors whooshed opened. Straw could here his beloved Stearman idling in the corner. He ran over, grabbing the old style leather helmet and goggles that he preferred over more modern wear. He climbed swiftly into the cockpit and strapped himself in, taxiing to the end of the runway. He watched Thunder put on the rocket pack he wore for flying and the weapons belt that carried some guns and grenades. Slipping on his own helmet, the giant bird looked at his protege and gave him the thumbs up. Together they sped down the runway tunnel, bursting into the bright afternoon sunshine.

Quickly gaining altitude, Straw banked sharply, performing a barrel roll for the sheer pleasure of it before turning to do a flyby of the base to see what was happening. He dove to a lower altitude and looked in amazement. As it turns out, it was a dinosaur attacking them. He made a low pass, firing his machine guns into the creature’s side to little effect. He could see explosions raining down upon the giant thunder lizard as Thunderfunk dropped grenades on it. Toggling his radio, he spoke to his boss. "I’m going to fire a couple of missiles," he said. "Stay clear." He activated the heat-seakers housed under the wings, only to be frustrated by a lack of a good lock. "Stupid cold-blooded animal," he muttered under his breath. Shrugging to himself, he decided to fire the missiles anyway. Both connected, one at the base of the neck and the other at the centre of the head. Huge chunks of flesh and machinery exploded out of the creature as it continued to hammer at the building.

"Fantastic," came Thunderfunk’s voice over the radio. "It appears to be a bio-mechanical creation. Allow me the pleasure." With that he pulled out his BFG Laser. Hovering near the creatures head, he lined up his shot. Firing the weapon caused him to fly back nearly a kilometre before he was able to regain control. The creature’s head gracelessly disconnected itself from the body and went bouncing down the hill on which the base was set. The body paused, comically waving its arms around for a moment as though searching for its head, and then exploded, sending Thunder, who had just returned, tumbling through the air for nearly a kilometre before he could regain control again.

Straw’s Stearman was buffeted by the explosion as well, but he had wisely gained enough altitude to not be affected overly much. Making a slow speed pass to assess the damage he was pleased when it appeared there was only superficial damage to the outside of the building. The subcontractors who had completed the work here would get a bonus. Or at least be allowed to live. "Return to base," came Thunder’s voice over the radio. Waggling the plane’s wings in acknowledgement, Straw headed back to the landing strip, wondering what the whole incident had been about.

Fools of us All - Chapter 10

Seeing large men with guns pointed in my direction, I did what any man would do in that situation - I raised my hands above my head and peed my pants. Only a little, though.

I peeked over at Caz and saw that she was playing the whole situation totally cool. Lowering my hands, I tried to adopt a similarly cool poise, my arms crossed. I wished I was larger so I could at least try to look intimidating, but that really wasn't an option. I mean, sure, I'm tall, but there wasn't much of me to look at besides that. I played some sports, and was rather well co-ordinated, but I was nothing like the two hulking behemoths standing before me. One was easily six inches above six feet, and the other was only an inch or two shorter. They had muscles just bulging out from underneath their t-shirts, and they held themselves like they knew how to use them. Not that they needed muscles with the size of the guns they were holding. They had to be the largest handguns I have ever seen.

"Well well well," rumbled the taller of the two. "It looks like we've found the strumpet we were sent to retrieve." He had a slight British flavour to his voice.

"And it looks like she's found a boyfriend." The shorter one's voice sounded like it was a powerful engine, idling underneath the hood.

Silence descended on the group. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Who in tarnation are you guys, and do you work out regularly?"

This seemed to startle them a little. Caz still hadn't said anything, hadn't moved in fact. She just continued to stare at them, betraying no emotion.

The taller one looked at his partner. "Hey Ike, the little bugger seems to think that he is entitled to some answers." He faced me again. "You aren't entitled to a thing little man. Now shut your trap before we shut it for you. Permanently." He turned and faced Caz again, obviously ignoring me. "Now missy, are you going to come with us quietly, or do we have to do what we love doing best?"

This finally provoked a reaction in Caz. She smiled. "I bet you wouldn't be nearly as confident without those silly handguns to hide behind." Casually she leaned against the window ledge, appearing relaxed.

Ike raised his eyebrows slightly. "Tank, it would seem that she doesn't want to cooperate after all."

"Ah, but she is right," Tank holstered his gun. "We don't really need them for her. Besides, I prefer the hands on approach."

Ike shrugged and put his gun away as well. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and approached Caz. "Now come along lady. We're not supposed to hurt you, but accidents do happen."

This is where I learned just how quick Caz was. Before I even realised what she was doing her hand whipped out and something flew across the room, smashing into Ike's forehead. He went down in a tangled heap, moaning softly.

Tank's gun was quickly in his hand and he squeezed off two shots, both missing by a hair. I dove to the side, taking cover behind a desk. I looked out from behind my cover and watched as Caz darted in close before another shot could be fired. She hit him with a flurry of punches and kicks that seemed to stagger him, but it wasn't enough to knock him down.

With surprising speed he reached down and caught a hold of her hair, lifting her straight up. Calmly he placed the gun right against her forehead. "You're going to pay for that. Oh I won't kill you. But I will watch you bleed for a while." He moved the gun down, sliding across her chest and pausing briefly on her stomach. "Now, this is going to hurt," he said with a savage grin on his face.

With a small sigh I leapt from where I had silently crawled. I knew that I could never take him in a fair fight, but I figured I would be able to do something if I got him by surprise.

I tackled low, hitting him right on the side of the knee. I could hear something snap and then all sound was drowned out by the scream of anguish coming from the large man. He collapsed in a heap around me, his gun falling to the ground. I untangled myself from him, feeling a little impressed by the success of my manoeuvre.

Caz rose from where she had fallen and knelt in front of Tank who was now whimpering softly to himself. She carefully picked up the gun, holding it with distaste. "Who hired you?" Obviously, for all the disgust she seemed to hold for the weapon, she was also trained in how to use it, and more than willing to prove it.

Tank could sense it as well. "I, I don't know. It was a phone call, money deposit in our account, never met the guy." He spoke between gasps of pain.

Satisfied, Caz rose to her feet. "Tell him I won't be found again. Not that easy." With that she delivered a hard kick to his jaw, silencing him into a peaceful slumber.

Pausing only briefly to retrieve the mysterious globe that she had used to disable Ike, she went to the window. "Are you coming or not," she said before jumping to the ground below. I looked around and realised that I didn't want to be here when anyone showed up, so I followed. This had been a heck of a day so far.

Thunderfunk the Superchicken - Chapter 9

Power Naps Can Be Evil

The lights flashed to full brilliance, bathing the room in a warm glow. Straw walked up to the computer monitor and sat down heavily, completely full. He had probably overeaten yet again, but the food had been so delicious that it was worth it. "All right," he muttered under his breath. "Let’s see where we were." He moved the mouse and hit a few buttons. "Aha," he breathed. Turning his chair, he faced his boss, who was leaning weakly against the railing, holding his stomach. "Thunder," said Straw, to no response. "Thunder," he repeated louder. Still the evil genius did not answer. "THUNDER!" he yelled.

Finally the giant bird’s eyes focussed and he looked at his assistant. "What? I am sorry, Straw. I do believe I overate at that restaurant. What were you saying?"

Leaning back in his chair, Straw nodded understandingly. "It would appear," he began, turning his chair around and tapping on the keyboard again, "that the computer is frozen and we will have to reboot." He reached down and hit the power button. They waited as it slowly shut down. They waited longer as it began to restart. They waited even longer as it processed whether it wanted to restart after being shut down so rudely only moments before.

Straw looked at his boss with a glassy stare that was equally matched. The two of them sat and waited, digesting together. The room swam before his eyes.

With a beep, the computer announced that it was finished its start up procedures and ready to begin...as soon as someone typed in the password. Straw stared blankly at the screen, finally turning to regard his boss once more. "I have no idea what the password is," he mumbled sleepily. "Do you?"

Thunder merely shrugged. "Try ‘breadbuuter must die’, or ‘curse that infernal woman’. Perhaps it was ‘death for everyone, clemency for none’." He flopped into a chair. "I’m not sure I much care at this moment." His eyes drooped closed and soon he was breathing deeply, snoring softly in his sleep.

Straw turned back to the computer. "I should get this set up before he wakes," he said to no one in particular. He tried the first suggested password but it did not work. He tried the second one, but had trouble typing around his nose. By the third password he was asleep on his keyboard.